Photo by Nigel from Eventpix UK Ltd

Hello!

AN OMINOUS OBSERVANCE OF OCCASIONS OBLIGATO!

Hmm. I suppose now might be an opportune time to put all shiny faced bright eyed True Believers a tiny bit more in the picture! Drop another veil as it were. Any minute now the website is being remade, if not remodelled. This may result in its absence for a little while and I’m anvious that its non appearance doesn’t convey the wrong message!
I promised The Worried Men Group a new track each calendar month – this month you’ll receive TWO to bring us up to date! As I’ve declared previously, these will be professionally recorded and mixed pieces. So stand by to gather this precious windfall, y’all!
Famous and respected biker scribe Rod Lawless has a YouTube channel with regular uploads www.youtube.com/user/roddersonone and he will be utilising some of my music.
Now this started me on another receding hair brained notion – what would you say to a regular handsome video broadcast? I haven’t the foggiest notion what I’d be gabbing about yet, but let’s face it that hasn’t stopped me before, has it?
So, as before Faithful One, let me know FOR or AGAINST regular video broadcasts.
Check out this review from Emanuele Gentile http://www.musicalnews.com/2020/02/04/jamie-thyer-and-the-worried-men-meets-the-dominatorsat-the-dyed-roots-of-blues-rock-road-dog-records/
See you at the weekend for more shaved ape rock & roll!

IT’S NOT ONLY ROCK & ROLL

Happy New Year Faithful One!
The holiday season gigs were even more thrill bedecked than usual – great to see so many cavorting revellers! An abundance of new gigs to enjoy together, as a swift gander at the attached list will confirm – and so many of them are at your instigation!
I’m going to be busy over the next few weeks: a new t-shirt design is overdue, the website is being rebuilt and my promise to share unreleased recordings has meant that only professional standard offerings will be on display. No phone recordings for valued True Believers, mate!
All this, plus the usual face melting, rip snorting, ace tasting, funky thighed gigs means plenty to keep your handsome pal engaged for a little while yet!
This is going to be a great year for all of us – just you see!

INSTANT INFORMATION, INSANELY INSPIRED BY IRRELEVENT ITEMS OF INCREDIBLE INCONSEQUENCE!

Well that was 2019.
I can’t pretend I’m sorry to see the back of it. By the time you read this, things in the world of the tawdry, vulgar people might be different, or they might be more the same than before.
I’m always aware that I play to interesting people. We don’t cater to any special age group, but we do provide for a special level of awareness. Our supporters, no matter their background, prove to be bright, imaginative, informal and sophisticated.
As always, I thank you for your support and I wish you and your families a Golden Christmas and a Super Funk New Year ... and like Abou Ben Adhem – may your tribe increase!

THEY SHARED A LOVE OF BAKED GOODS

Thank you Barry!
Thank you Bradford!
Hang on ... how can I single out anywhere when the support recently has even amazed ME?
The Biblical downpour doesn't dissuade you, the rival attractions can't tempt you ... I never take you for granted, but I'm glad that you're there!
The usual clutch of radio interviews have possibly introduced newcomers into our fold … y'all make yourselves at home!
Still plenty of treats in store for this year ... Tenby won't be long!
Better think of a new t-shirt design too ....

..... LIKE A WOLF ON THE FOLD .....

Thank goodness we had Hardtail Marc Turner and The Big Feller on hand at the Eye of Ra rally!
Good to see Blackwood Steve there, with some other time honoured True Believers, too!
This year has been the toughest challenge yet for the business side of things - not just in my little corner of the world, but in many other spheres too.
I know that many good, decent people are nervous about their own circumstances ... so I have a belt studded with gratitude and boots laced with appreciation for you who continue to support us! Believe me, it's an inspiration and a reward!
COLNE looms on the horizon ... looking forward very much to seeing your unwashed mugs there, shiny with expectation ...
Derby, Colne, Tenby ... the greatest lies beyond ....
BCNU!

BESTIAL GREED

Since we last spoke, I've recorded quite a few links and jingles for different radio stations, so try not to spill your drink in your lap when you hear the Golden Tones emanating from some unlikely places!
Been working on some proper new recordings too ... and, by the way, when I get a minute, I'll post some live tracks on the Facebook Group page ....
It's getting near festival time ... ankle up and say 'Howdy!', won't you?
There's so much going on here, I'm busier than I ever have been, that's for sure ... as the world changes I’m finding new ways to go about things ... stubbing my toe, banging my head ... but to miss out ... well, I'd rather eat electricity with a rusty knife.

PENGUIN FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

I honestly can't keep track of all the recent radio play ... I know there must have been maybe twenty 'Chat and Spin' interviews and Melanie doing her thing on BIKER STREET RADIO: thanks to y'all ... so much support that you wouldn’t grant it credence.
Some really wonderul receptions ... EEL PIE CLUB ... WINSTERFEST ... BICESTER ... WEYMOUTH ...
And for DRAMA WITHOUT EQUAL IN IT'S STRANGE INTENSITY, stay with us ... the rest of the year is beckoning ...

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BOPPING THE BLUES

... it must be going round!
There have been SO MANY radio appearances since we last spoke that I don't honestly think I can enumerate them all ... certainly 'CHAT AND SPIN RADIO' lead the field, but also we mustn't forget my acoustic moments on 'NCCR'.
Thanks for the support in London ... AGAIN, we find ourselves at number two in the ReverbNation blues chart, and should you want to sample our wares, then waste no time heading for the BARGAINS page ....or SHOP NOW, if you speak FACEBOOK!
Much, much more to look forward to this year, Faithful One!

AND THEN.....

Thank you, True Believers everywhere, for making us Number One in the ReverbNation Blues Chart recently!
There's a pretty snappy review of our (by now legendary) Skegness appearance in the current issue of BLUES MATTERS ... we'll post a link or similar as soon as the Dynamic Management Team stop doing their 'buck-and-wing' celebratory dance.
I've lost count of the many radio spots recently; thank you CHAT AND SPIN RADIO, and also PHILLY ROCK RADIO and MONSTER RADIO LANZAROTE.
BLUES DELUXE RADIO are working hard playing our platters, and there are some mind snapping dates on the horizon!
Thanks for supporting us in such numbers recently at Witney, Warks, Wantage and Wales (Barry!) ...
We're coming to see you just as soon as we can, Faithful One … so don't forget to wash behind your ears!

STARRY EYED AND LAUGHING!

Yep ... sunshine, lollipops, etc for your handsome troubadour.
SO MUCH radio play and many interviews ... CHAT AND SPIN ... THE MENACE'S HOUSE OF INDIES ... BLUES DELUXE ... thank you all!
Mustn't forget to thank 3 WAY-FM Warrnambool in Australia too!
Some topper gigs recently ... Punchbowl in Warwick, where the lusty demands of Warwickshire True Believers ensured that our debut visit was a righteous smash!
Plenty more new towns for our guerrilla skirmishes … let's check them out together, Faithful One!

SO ... WHEN DID YOUR ABILITY TO IMITATE FARMYARD ANIMALS FIRST PROVE USEFUL?

January saw lots and lots of studio recording ... some great gigs ... huge steaming dollops of radio play and interviews, and our now legendary appearance on the BLUES MATTERS stage at Skegness!
We were regally driven up by Mr Nick Allen (tour manager to the stars) in the NAM chuckle wagon ... which, if you'd seen our meteoric progress, you'd have been forgiven for believing was the Millennium Falcon.
Lots of you came to see us ... saying howdy and cheering us on. Plenty t-shirts visible from the stage, too!
We had difficulty parking the immense vehicle on our arrival … not because of the mighty ship's vast dimensions, nor indeed the fearless pilot's prowess, but I think the reception staff mistook us for punters in search of a convention of village idiots .… and not too wide of the mark either.
Anyway, there's a video and some pics hereabouts, and I hope we credit the correct snapper.
Loads of gigs from here on in ...

Speaking of radio action, thanks going out to
BLUES MAGAZINE RADIO SHOW,
AII RADIO
RICHARD DUNNING
BLUES MOOSE
MARK HUGHES
JOSEP @RED HOT BLUES
BALLROOM BLITZ
and of course, CHAT AND SPIN for tirelessly playing our swag!

PLENTY OF CREAM, PLENTY OF SUGAR

So many of you came out to see us over the holiday season....it was quite humbling. I know a fair few True Believers have come to regard us as part of the annual festivities, but it's almost overwhelming to hear that people have been looking forward to us for ages.
Some truly big events are in the book for later on ... but I'll drop the veil nearer the time.

The exciting publicity team have told me that more than 700 radio stations have us on their playlist ... I always try to thank people so let's hear it for the following purveyors of quality music:
PABLO THE DONKEY
WEDNESDAY'S EVEN WORSE
LIVE FROM THE MIDNIGHT CIRCUS
OUR GENERATION RADIO
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
TERRY BIRNIE
RADIOACTIVE ROCK SHOW

I'm still doing lashings of recordings, but I'll see y'all just as soon as I can, Faithful One!
I need "A BIG OLD SKY AND A BIG OLD CAR AND A PLACE WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE," as Trevor Tanner would have it!

CHICKENSCRATCHINGACETASTINGMOTIVATING GAB!

It's hard to share this without sounding boastful or repetitious, but here goes anyway; this year was the most successful yet (just like every year).
So THANK YOU to all True Believers, Bird Dogs ... and maybe the odd floating voter new to our community!
Next year sees some radical plans reach fruition that have long been bubbling away ....
We had some great reviews, lashings of radio play and most importantly of all, some unparalleled support.
Faithful One, it's never been my practise to bs you; many, many guitar players stand above me on the ladder, faster, flashier, funkier (although Claudia from 'NEW MUSIC NOW' praised my 'lethal guitar solos').
But NONE have the support and devotion that I enjoy.
As always, I wish all our tribe a golden Christmas, a superfunk new year, a cool yule .… and (as Dave Allen used to say), may your God go with you!
The best is still ahead!

EXCELSIOR!

Do you know, I think that was the biggest crowd yet in Tredegar! Certainly was a mind snapper of a night!
Ledbury was it's usual galvanic self and High Wycombe is always loaded to the gunwales with knowledgeable groovers!
Thank you, Sodbury! Ross … you were glittering with bonhomie!
We've had a humdinging amount of radio play - as always, Keith at MIDLANDS METALHEADS leads the charge.
I think that for the last ten or so weeks we've been at number 2 in the ReverbNation blues charts. Thank you all for this distinction.
One upshot of all this splendid support is that our Dynamic Management Team is now working on a fabby campaign with SKYFIRE https://www.skyfireinteractive.media/portfolio-posts/jamie-thyer/
So watch this space for regular missives from our march to world domination.
Your seat at the banquet is reserved, Faithful One!

HEY! HEY! HEY! YOU!

Great raving scenes in Andover!
A marvy debut at Wotton Blues Festival ..… where you FILLED the room and thrilled us with the warmth of your welcome!
Nice clutch of True Believers at Aunty Al's, too!
Great, great night at Bicester … where I did an interview for Radio Oxford. I'll let you know in good time when it's broadcast, Faithful One.
I've just gotten in from another fab debut, this time at REET PETITE in Leominster … where we made a whole heap of new friends!
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank y'all for the birthday greetings, and AGAIN for making us number 2 in the ReverbNation chart.
Believe me, it just inspires me to try even harder!
Yours 'til the load out ....

A QUAFF OF QUIXOTIC QUIPS TO QUENCH YOUR QUAKES AND QUANDRIES!

Colne, eh?
If you were there, and it would seem many True Believers were present, you'll have witnessed for yourself the fantastic receptions!
Would it be boasting to relate that SO MANY people were racing us to arrive at our next venue? Believe me, it happened ... and not just a few times either. Unfortunately, the bands (of larger stature) were less than enchanted ... me, I thought it was more fun than a frog in a glass of milk!
Castle Roc brought us face to face with many soon-to-be-new-friends, too! Here's a review from rock 'n' roll circus filling you in https://www.facebook.com/theworriedmen/photos/a.467308810091078/1086167431538543/?type=3&theater ... and another from THE ROCKER http://www.the-rocker.co.uk/ extolling the praises of CAFE RACER ... click the shop button or see us at a gig to nail YOUR copy!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, radio play from our good buddies at the BLUES CRUISE and Steve at THE BLUES LOUNGE continues apace; and trust me, Faithful One, there are still some treats left for the remainder of THIS year!

WONDEROUS WORDS OF WIT AND WISDOM WITH WHICH TO WASTE SOME TIME!

As garrulous and lugubrious as I'm held to be, I simply don't possess the skills necessary to describe the crowds, the reception and the vibe at UPTON, GLOUCESTER and CALNE Festivals! If you were there, you'll know (oops - nearly forgot Mamba Posse at NEWBURY!).
Ah, the iron teeth of time gnash ceaselessly at my heels, True Believers!
Such a lot has come to pass in the last twelve months!
We're gearing up for THE GREAT BRITISH RHYTHM AND BLUES FESTIVAL at Colne, Lancs, ... then WOTTON ... then TENBY!
I've just ordered ANOTHER box of CAFE RACER albums; top writer ROD LAWLESS has this to say; 'You owe it to yourself to search out a copy', and the mighty KEITH of MIDLANDS METALHEADS RADIO states that you'll hate yourselves if you don't pick up a copy. Better check the shop, Faithful One – I couldn't live with that.
P.S. ... Number two in the ReverbNation Blues Chart.....thanks!

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE!

So much recent airplay for the CAFE RACER album (BLUES AT RRUK - THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER - BLUES MOOSE RADIO) that in all seriousness, True Believers, I'm concerned about omitting someone, there's been so much support. Not least from the mighty KEITH; yes, he of Midlands Metalheads Radio and Dmitry from 'Let It Rock'
By the time that this hits you, we'll probably have commenced the festival and bike show trails; please wander up and say "Hello!"... I haven't bitten anybody this week (I'm the handsome creature with the odd shaped guitar).
Also, as you may have read elsewhere, it seems that there's a demand for t-shirts larger than the 2XL we usually carry.
Please let us know (text, email, pm) if you'd like the more generous styles and we can get them all made in one go!
Have mercy, powerful ones!

LAWDY MISS CLAWDY!

Since we last spoke, MELANIE at BIKER STREET RADIO has been playing the current CAFE RACER album; as have BLUES SHOW BOB, BLUES MOOSE RADIO, BLUES AT RRUK and THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER on ROCK RADIO UK.
Good reviews too from KEYS AND CHORDS, BLUES MATTERS, BLUES AGAIN and our good buddy CESARE.
Famous and respected writer ROD LAWLESS also has good things to say about the record.
You can get your copy from our Bargains Page ....where the new t-shirts are also available.
This is TRULY the age of miracles!

LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!

Ain't THAT the truth, Faithful One!
I don't want this to seem like a party political broadcast ... we're all far too weary of that schmaltz around these parts ... but the CAFE RACER album has had even more good reviews and airplay since we last spoke!
Visit our Facebook page for BLUES MATTERS' take on things!
Hats in the air also for MIDLANDS METALHEADS radio who beat our drum more than somewhat, too!
You can get CAFE RACER by clicking on our Bargains page ... if you already have your copy, it's not a bad idea to store another away for future generations to enjoy. After all, they'll be choosing your nursing home. In fact, throw all your other records away; you won't need them any more!
And the new t-shirt design is proving a sizeable wow with the ladies of the tribe too!
So, once again, DATELESS DUDES ... should you not be getting your share check out our Bargains Page for your option to buy one of these fine products for your heart's desire! The effect can be startling! (Certainly more efficacious than this hair restorer I bought from Tony McPhee of the Groundhogs... )
Catch you on the flipside, True Believers!

I'D RATHER BE ASHES THAN DUST ANY DAY

Well alright, Faithful One!
Since we spoke last, we've garnered more than the usual radio play for 'CAFE RACER' ... Blues Deluxe in Texas, besides Simone Bargelli in Italy www.radiorcc.com/launch.html ... then we crashed into Italian blues album chart ... did a string of gigs where YOUR attendances and receptions were amongst the most memorable ... and then there was the unstinting support from MIDLANDS METALHEADS radio https://midlandsmetalheads.com/the-blues-cruise-with-mr-b-08-04-18/
One could be forgiven for thinking it wasn't a bad start to the year!
Just awaiting the delivery of the NEW t-shirt designs, and we're set for five minutes!
See you at the next outing, True Believers!

DON'T COME THE COWBOY WITH ME, SONNY JIM

Howdy, Faithful One!
Just got back from collecting the second printing of our new album "CAFE RACER" in a month!
We're doing well for reviews and airplay already with much more imminent. Italian radio station 'Radio RCC' gave us an airing on their 'Rock 'n' Blues Today' playlist for starters!
Also, our new t-shirts are on their way. I'm sure that you'll like them as much as we do!
You may have read elsewhere about Biker Street radio playing the album, two guesses who had to record a station link for them!
Stick with us, True Believers … the long march is paying off in spades!

OPEN UP YOUR EARS, OPEN UP YOUR EYES...

Open up your mind, take your body by surprise, Faithful One!
Those of you in need of fierce and eviscerating guitar over the Yule festivities need look no further than the annual ripsnorters at Weston-Super-Mare and Abertillery!
As you can see, we're at Frome with Manfred Mann's Earth Band ... a rare outing for them and a treat for you. Contact us for your cheap tickets!
Sounds corny, but you know I mean it ...
TO ALL TRUE BELIEVERS, BIRD DOGS AND THEIR FAMILIES;
Merry Crimble and a gear new year!
(You're all that stands between me and growing up.....)

FEED THE FIRE, FAN THE FLAME

...'til the world remembers your name, True Believers!
The radio play has started for the new record, the cover photos have been shot and the sleeve is underway! Won't be long until this hunk of burning love moves into your ear space!
The annual soiree at the Doll's House, Abertillery, is looking good, as is Gingstock at Scallys!
Also, if you simply can't wait until New Year's Eve, come and join us at Nailsworth's Comrades Club on the 30th!
Another topper year...I can't pretend there haven't been a few bumps along the route, but we're on course for a whole new and successful school of motoring for the future....
Anyway, as Alex says to his Droogs; 'What's it going to be then, eh?'

WE NEVER GREW UP TOGETHER

Imagine this nightmare:
All weekend the town of Colne appeared to be exclusively populated by people carrying guitars or wearing WORRIED MEN t-shirts, like some post apocalyptic scenario. You must agree it has Mad Max beaten hollow.
Anyway, as you might have read elsewhere, however you slice it, we had the most successful outing yet!
We couldn't satisfy the demand for t-shirts; however, we were able to comfort those disappointed via mail order on our return.
Shortly we'll be making an official promotional video, together with assembling a teaser of tracks from the new album, besides sending some tunes to the BBC.
All this plus the usual radio and magazine courtship which accompanies a new release!
But as Messrs Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg would assure you, we've "Still got love for the streets"!
See you later, Faithful One!

SON OF A GUN, WE'LL HAVE BIG FUN

Well, twelve or so months on, the record is very nearly finished. I listened to it this morning and I think you'll agree it's the best thing I've ever done. I'll speak more next month, when hopefully I'll have specific details and new t-shirt designs too.
2018 diary is steadily filling up, and we still have The Great British Rhythm & Blues Festival at Colne, Lancs, and Tenby Blues Festival later in the year to look forward to!
I'd better get ready for reviews and airplay, so I'll see you at the weekend, True Believer!

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!

Howdy, Faithful One! August is already starting to resemble an action packed carnival of treats!
Colne is looking very handy ... and at the time of writing, the garden of delights that are GLOUCSTER and UPTON blues festivals are imminent!
As it happens, I've just arrived back from the BARFLYS bike rally; GREAT to see and speak with so many of you, and I hope we see you all again real soon!
So far, this has been our most successful year; I know I say that most years, but every time it's true! The dates are coming in for 2018 even as we speak, and FINALLY the next stage looks as though it will spread its wings and soar from the drawing board. We've got some dedicated people on the firm these days, as the forthcoming records will demonstrate!
We're on the march once more … and we're taking you with us, True Believers!

P.S. Big shout out to DJ JAZZY JEFF for playing us on SURREY HILLS COMMUNITY RADIO!

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING A MONKEY A GUN.

After two vans blowing up last month (don't ask, Faithful One), we're stumbling towards the oncoming light.
Some good gigs lie in wait; a headline date on July 6th at the THUNDERRBOLT in Bristol, to name one. I hope you'll join us for what promises to be a night of cavorting and carrying on generally!
Upton Festival has always proven to be a mind-snapper....let's see how much noise we can make together...and of course, the Gloucester Blues Festival!
Ah well, can't idle away a lovely day like this....back to the recording.
See you soon, True Believers!

P.S. Click http://www.bluesblastmagazine.com/jamie-thyer-postcards-from-bedlam-album-review/ for terrific review from BLUES BLAST magazine!

THE LEGEND LIVES ON ... AND ON ...

Yes, True Believers! It's time for more paeans and plaudits from the pulpit of pandemonium!
I'm sure you'll have realised that festival time is almost upon us; naturally, we'll be gracing the usual stages, so we'll look out for your bad selves!
Be sure to ankle up and say 'Howdy!'
STILL recording almost every day; this new record will sure be something, and most certainly worth the wait!
SO MANY great nights in April and May that it would be sinful to single any one out, but you were there and you know how it went!
See you at the load-in, Faithful One!

LIFE IN THE FAST FOOD LANE

Some really great receptions in Taunton, Arncott, Cwmbran! Great to see so many long standing True Believers! Incidentally, one of our first write ups was in 1995, and when we performed in Warminster the other week, the same journalist popped up and wrote about us again! How about that?
Been recording non stop … working my face off to bring you a thrilling new album. It isn't quite ready for you just yet, but believe me, you're in for some surprises, and you'll agree it was worth the wait.
See you later, Faithful One!

I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

I'm sorry to swank like a banty rooster Faithful One, but so far this year it's been the most successful on record – and we stopped counting a while back when we passed 4,000 gigs.
Some mouth watering gigs lie in store for us in April – another clutch of new places and return visits to some old favourites!
We're in the process of organising new design t-shirts, but before we do please help us with your preferences? Would you like different colours? Vests? Hoodies?
Let us know so we can help you convert the benighted heathen hordes out there!
Next month, I'll really have some exciting news True Believers – meet back here in 30 odd days!

"Where my Studebaker takes me, that's where I'll make my stand"

...as Brian Fury said.

I, however, have the MIGHTY DAIMLER, with 301,000 miles on the clock awaiting her MOT. Fingers crossed, Faithful One!
Fantastic night at High Wycombe, in the company of many True Believers, including Bones, Mega and Mr Wheel! Excellent!
Had some more radio play...
https://www.mixcloud.com/roryauskerry/route-66-radio-show-220117-elles-bailey-interview-plus-ash-wilson-marcus-malone-aaron-keylock/
.... so big shout out to Rory Auskerry of Route 66 Radio Show.

The Grateful Dead gig was a rare moment of delirium, and we should have some pictures somewhere about to illustrate... Dukie and Richie came over from Barry, good to see them, together with loads of the usual suspects.
January was filled with excitement, packed rooms and matey vibes.
We have a long way to go, but we're trying very hard!
Don't look down, True Believers!

IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY, SO LET A WORRIED MAN COME IN AND DO THE FUNKY GIG LIST!

Happy New Year, Faithful One!
Got some extra surprises in store for you later in the year, but for now, let me remind you that we're at the Cheese and Grain with the Grateful Dead on January 27th. Want your tickets? Get in touch snip snap, as they're flying out the door!
The Christmas holiday gigs were a bit of a mind snapper; got to see lots of your shiny, excited faces, and we made some new friends into the bargain.
New t-shirts are being designed, and lots of new ideas are being bandied about so stay tuned True Believers! The best is still ahead!
Don't blame me for getting excited! It's just the pixie in me!

AGENTS OF CHAOS

Great comments about our performance at the Colne Great British R & B Festival in the current issue of Blues Matters magazine! Alright Sister Feelgood!Once again, I MUST thank you all for yet another thrilling year. Although it went a bit skew-whiff in places, we're on course for the most successful yet.
Which is humbling since so many decent people are suffering terrible deprivations, yet a balding guitar mangler staggers from strength to strength. Must be down to my dear old snowy haired mother praying for me.
Recently we played in Hereford and, by some bizarre coincidence, foundourselves literally opposite the mighty Blues Festival. Our own venue had elected not to display any posters announcing our presence, so when a great host of festival attendees wandered from their site and saw us setting up, they stayed with us, despite having paid fairly serious cash to attend the star studded event across the road. The upshot of this was that we had a bulging room, a marvy evening, and I thank all the Aber heads and Hereford True Believers for supporting us!
Sadly, on the 19 December, we were due to play the last ever Two Pigs gig. However, that's not happening now, so please come and see us at The Buttercross, Chippenham on the 15th instead.
I hope you get involved and come and see us over the holiday period...as always, Gingestock at Weston-Super-Mare and Twinfest and Doll's House are treats we have in store, and missing them would be like missing your birthday!
New Years Eve we find ourselves at the Saracens Head in Hereford...and it's free entry, so let's get together and feel alright!
We'd like to wish all True Believers, and their nearest and weirdest, a golden Christmas and a superfunk new year...and to our detractors, we wave our gentleman vegetables at their mothers!

DIALECTIC DOODLINGS DESIGNED TO DELIGHT!

Here's some breaking news; both the Les Paul Junior and the Flying V are just back from the tender ministrations of Denver and Steve at INTERSOUND GUITARS. http://www.intersoundguitars.co.uk/
An excellent gig to look forward to is JANUARY 27th at THE CHEESE & GRAIN, FROME. We're there with the GRATEFUL DEAD and, already, tickets are going surprisingly quickly. You can phone me, text or email me for your discounted advance tickets or just yell at me in the Post Office queue, but you won't want to miss this event, Faithful One!
Christmas, of course, means our traditional visit to SCALLYS, WESTON-SUPER- MARE on December 26th for GINGESTOCK ... we have the usual surprises planned, and of course come December 23rd, we're at THE DOLLS HOUSE, ABERTILLERY for the gathering of the usual suspects, all eager for more of Kelvin's crazy cat dancing. When that boy cuts a rug, it's poetry in motion.
Plenty other treats in store, just run your peepers down the gig list, and we'll see you there! Rock on with your bad selves, True Believers!

HOT AS A DOCKER'S ARMPIT

You're reading this gig list for November, I'm writing it in October, so let's have a little natter about September!
Corks! Didn't we visit some outlandish places?! Sometimes it seemed as though your Handsome correspondent had thrown darts over his shoulder at a map!
But still, there you all were! Ah, yes! True Believers! Know 'em anywhere.
I suppose by the time this reaches you, you'll be wearing a crinkly mouth and yowling, "Where, oh where, can I get tickets to see JOHN OTWAY and THE WORRIED MEN at The THUNDERBOLT on NOVEMBER 24th?"
Easy now! No need to crack the coconut; permit me to unravel this conondrum. Just phone me, text me, email me or shout at me in the post office queue, and you shall truly know peace of mind, Faithful One!
(And now ... back to the studio ....)

WELL, IT'S EITHER THIS OR FONDUE PARTIES AND DEMIS ROUSSOS ALBUMS

Well....for those of you who haven't seen the Facebook page, Colne was the biggest hit for us yet....which is really saying something! What CAN be said about True Believer ROB WEBB (420 mile round trip to catch us on Sunday)? Then, there were Richard and Liz who joined us from HONITON! And, of course all the usual recidivists. I did an interview for Radio Lancashire, but it still didn't stop all the gigs being chock a block with thrill seeking Faithful Ones. As has become the norm, bass duties were despatched by Dave Hellhound, whose name is a byword for two-legged bass sorcery.
The recording thing is ploughing on, although it has become a leetle more serious...and at least two archive-oriented record companies are putting out some of my antediluvian recordings. Obviously, this has only served to galvanise me into more cheese paring of the forthcoming record. It'll be with you as soon as possible, Faithful One...but its worth doing properly!
We sold so many t-shirts that we ran out of certain sizes in the new design,....so a rush order was clearly called for and now you can sashay down life's boulevard in tiger shaving style!
Things are changing and getting more and more highly geared for your twangsome chums....but we're not stepping off the gas. No sirree!

THE MYSTERIOUS PIG IRON MAN

Once again....fantastic raving scenes and rooms full of love at Andover, Stroud and Downend!
Terrific debut at Market Lavington Music and Comedy Club and a wonderful welcome for our debut in Neath!
If you care to peruse our Facebook page, you'll see photos of our time at the Upton and Gloucester Blues Festivals. I urge you to do so, as a picture is more articulate than any of my clumsy prose to convey the fabby welcome we had at both events.
Also, there's a video of the Gloucester Blues Festival performance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXvQTxwsFv0&feature=share and a link to my (now legendary) appearance on BBC Radio Gloucestershire http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0413r1m (interview starts around 1:08:30)
Working very hard on new material and recording almost every day toward a new record...exciting news for you soon... and then there's COLNE!!!!
I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M LUCKY....

I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M LUCKY

You've probably read elsewhere that the current album "POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM" was nominated for International Blues Broadcasters Association pick of the month, so we thank those responsible; an upshot of this is even more radio play!
Back into the studio with alarming regularity, working on the successor.....but I must say the recent live shows have been really well supported...even by OUR standards!
Despite being the opening act at the Bristol Blues Rock Revue show, there you were, waiting to greet us ... Snowy Gang, Glyn et al! Same at Bath, same at Honiton ... makes me sound boastful, but you know it's true, Faithful Ones!
But I think, the record has to be Witney George Gang who performed a 240 mile round trip to see us at Abertillery. Mind you, it might be Kelvin's crazy cat dancing they came for. I'd travel to see that myself.
At Fareham they arrived by train from Woking!
It would be sinful to omit anyone, but you know who you are and I salute you, True Believers!
August means festival time ... Gloucester, Colne and suchlike ... we'll be zipping hither and yon like a heat crazed vole, but step up and say "HOWDY" won't you?

AND EVERY DAY I LIKE AN EGG AND SOME TEA, BUT MOST OF ALL I LIKE TO TALK ABOUT ME

Gratified to see how many of you like the new t-shirt design...they're going home with quite a few True Believers!
Thanks for the fab support at recent shows where we felt it was important to oppose resistance to rock and roll bands... the point has been well made and we shall all feel the benefit!
Just about every day I'm working on the new record...and not a moment too soon, either, as Faithful Ones keep ordering the older CDs! Must mean they have an itch that has to be scratched!
We're working on more foreign stuff and tracks for record label compilations too, but it takes time to do things properly. Patience for just a smidgeon longer. It'll be worth it, True Believers!

NEVER KNOWINGLY UNDERSTOOD

Okay, True Believers, buckle up and let's get with it!
I KNOW that I've mentioned this before, but its true that we've performed at so many new places this year ... generally by your recommendation ... and I simply can't express how great it is to roll up to a new venue (often in a new TOWN), and there you are to greet us!
We have an exciting new t-shirt design and we're submitting tracks for record company compilations again.
Just about every day, I'm bashing away on new tunes for our own new record, too.
Stick with us, Faithful One; the best is still ahead!

THE RICH WOMAN'S PLAYTHING; ECONOMY WITH DIGNITY

Phew! Not long back from the Hereford gig with Rocky Road to Ruin, where I'm told we had one of the best crowds yet! Also, must mention the terrific show at Taunton, where for the third time, we were immortalized in a painting! If I can, I'll put in on the site so you can share it.
Played so many new places this year - and I simply can't tell you how gratifying it is to see friendly True Believers there! Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!
Had a smart review in Canada; here's the link: http://dmme.net/jamie-thyer-postcards-from-bedlam/
Of course, what you really want to hear is that the mighty Daimler went through her MOT AGAIN … just nudging 300,000 miles! Most gigs people ask about her, and I think I'm right in saying she's been to the Moon and back several times! Recording nearly every day, working toward the new album, which reminds me; should anyone want the Christmas tracks that hasn't got them, just send me an email.
See you at the weekend, Faithful One!

...AND SO, WE MUST REMAIN THE WILDHEARTED OUTSIDERS

Thanks for the ultra boss night at Swindon, Faithful Ones; if we'd wanted to cram many more of you in the Rolleston we'd have needed to coat you in grease. And I know some of you travelled a fair way to join us!
Can't leave out the Stroud and Glos posse: such a lot of love for a wizenedold guitar wrangler!
At the moment, most days are being spent on new recordings. I'm actually entertaining a radical approach to the process; should it come off, I'll tell you all about it.
As detailed elsewhere, the Flying V got badly damaged yet again, but she's been skilfully renovated by the clever studs at INTERSOUND GUITARS, and so far I must report she's as good as new!
While we were tidying up, I found a box of RIDE AGAIN cds. They've been out of print for a while now, and I know some True Believers were keen on acquiring copies. Email or text for yours before they're all gone!
And lastly, the new t-shirts will be with you very soon, Faithful Ones!
See you at the weekend!

HOT DOGS WITH EVERYTHING

Lots of new places to visit this month, Faithful Ones. It would be double great if we tested them out together! (I would smile at the prospect, only smiling makes my face ache).
The (ahem) Christmas single was pretty well received by you, and it even got radio play! (Speaking of which, the current album is still being regularly spun across the airwaves!).
The new places that we've been to so far this year have been tremendous fun, and here's a big shout out to all the new friends we've made in the Midlands.
We're working up some different tunes right now, so please let us know what you think, and the very first tentative steps have begun in the direction of the next album.
Must dash, but see you at the weekend for more chicken-bending rock and roll, True Believers!

P.S. A message from mission control: Store facility now available here by clicking on the 'Bargains' button to your left

BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE

Happy New Year, True Believers!
Thanks for your valued support over Christmas and the new year; already it looks like being a very busy 2016! Many people ask, so I'll let you in on the secret ... we get so many gigs because we smell nice.
If you take a gander at the Facebook page, you'll notice a link to the WORRIED MEN store, where you can order our fine items online and pay securely. Hopefully, this facility will appear on the main website too, if the staff at mission control can take the pencil out of her mouth and stop staring at the walls long enough. Also, we're working on a thrilling new t-shirt design!
Big shout out to Roger, in Hampshire, for exemplary bird dog activities... we really are lucky to have the grass roots feedback and it is appreciated!
Anyway, better get cracking, see you out in Be-Bop-A-Lula land, Faithful One!

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JELLY

'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the pad,
not a True Believer stirred,
I'm telling you, Dad.
The chimney was draped
in that stocking routine,
in hopes that the fat man would soon make the scene...

The True Believers were all cool in their beds,
while dreams of the Handsome One wailed through their heads.
Road Captain Chapman lay curled up on the floor,
just conked out cold for a forty wink snore.
When out of left field there came such a ribble,
I broke from my sack to see what was this dribble!
To the window I cut like a western B movie,
tuned in on the action, and boy, was it groovy!
With a hopped-up old driver on some frantic kick
I was hip in a flash that it wasn't St Nick!
As I yanked in my noggin I turned round real fast,
from the darkness there came this answering blast:

“But I got no sleigh with reindeer,
no sack upon my back;
you're going to see me coming
in a long black Cadillac".

It's no secret we've had our ups and downs, but thank you for another great year; I wish to extend to all True Believers and their families, a superfunk Christmas and a golden year.
God bless you all.

TRUE BELIEVERS! DECK THOSE HALLS! TRIM THOSE TREES!

We have our own Christmas traditions in our community, don't we, Faithful One? If you haven't joined us at GINGSTOCK or its Welsh equivalent KELVFEST you really are missing something special! And speaking of our tribe, I hear many stories of True Believers going to gigs and festivals noting other cats with WORRIED MEN t-shirts, and before you can say 'Kiss the blood off my washboard', there's a new friend!
The HEREFORD TIMES ran a smashing piece about us... Click here to read it or check out our Facebook page, as you wish.
Til next time... keep it clean True Believers and if you're going out on your bike... wear something white!

GREETINGS, NEAREST AND WEIRDEST!

A quick peek at the forthcoming dates will remind you that we're doing another date with living legends THE PRETTY THINGS at the Cheese and Grain in Frome. Judging by our recent gigs there, the tickets will fly out the door, so don't get left out; ring us, text us, email us right now for yours!
We're already gearing up for bigger and brighter things in the new year, so stay tuned as we don't want to start without you, Faithful One!
It's also more than likely that ANOTHER t-shirt design will be with you for Christmas, as the 21st Anniversary prints have very nearly COMPLETELY sold out! These fine items make dandy Christmas presents for all right-thinking musicnauts to proclaim their support for the longest running chimps tea party on record!
Ah well; get thee to bed, Faithful One; it'll be gig time before you know it!

P.S. Big thanks for the great reception in Bicester and thanks to Bicester FM for playing our tracks!
Also check out RED HOT BLUES radio station who are spinning the new album RIGHT NOW!

THE HARDER WE WORK, THE LUCKIER WE GET.

The gigs at Colne were packed with so many jumping, rocking True Believers that it's difficult to relate without sounding boastful. So I'll move swiftly on....
ITEM! We're nearly all out of the 21st anniversary t-shirts, so if you want one (indeed, how could you REFUSE?), better make it snappy!
ITEM! We're appearing on an album with international distribution. More details next month.
ITEM! We're appearing on the PRETTY THINGS 50th anniversary tour. We have your tickets NOW....so phone, text or email a.s.a.p. as these will disappear pronto.
Smell y'all next month, Faithful Ones!

BEAT GROUP DYNAMITE

Just pausing in my preparations for Colne R&B festival to keep you up to date, Faithful One. Pretty good press in Holland and the Ukraine, where they want us to perform. Here's a nice review from Croatia: http://www.soundguardian.com/jamie-thyer-postcards-from-bedlam
As has become the norm, Messrs Hardtail Marc and Road Captain Chapman steered us safely through the storm at the Calne Bike Meet.
The receptions at Upton, Gloucester and Abertillery festivals were staggering, and I must mention the marvy trip to the Isle of Wight and the fab hospitality we enjoyed. Let's give a big shout out to Trevor Howard of SevernFM who works hard playing our records and plugging our dates like a BOSSMAN!
I like playing these larger events; it gives me chance to catch up with you all.
Keep it between the ditches till we meet again, True Believers!

DIRECT ACTION GETS THE GOODS!

The gig with the Damned was a mind snapper; they were pretty gracious to us, and I hope you all enjoyed it. Then we did the Otway show, which was agreeably wild too!
Our chums at BRFM RADIO have given us plenty of airplay recently.
A record company in the Ukraine want to issue some of our work and are talking about us playing there, so that's something new!
I'm working on ANOTHER track for an international release later in the summer. You'll hear about that one nearer the time, but we have festivals and suchlike to wrestle with first!
All heady stuff for a clutch of gnarled old lags with faces like zoo exhibits!
We're getting a few photos of you in our t-shirts so keep them coming, True Believers!

I DIDNT GET WHERE I AM TODAY

I'm writing, having just got in from the gig with THE DAMNED, True Believer (where Hard Tail Marc, Mr Chainsaw and Road Captain Chapman performed the usual logistical miracle). Thanks for the fantastic support you gave us!
Later on this weekend, we're out with John Otway again, so it's all very giddy at the moment!
STILL getting terrific reviews for the record; you can read another one HERE
Later on in the year we've been asked onto the PRETTY THINGS 5Oth ANNIVERSARY TOUR, but I'll tell you about that nearer the time.
We haven't had any photos of Faithful Ones in our t-shirts for a little while....how about you email me some for the Hall of Fame?
Until next month, keep it clean, True Believers!

THE WHOLE POINT OF NO RETURN

True believers! A very short period back we introduced our twenty first anniversary t-shirts and the first batch have already very nearly gone. We'll get cracking with another shipment, but don't wait too long for yours, as we want to introduce even MORE thrilling designs soon!
Here's another item that's putting hot cakes to shame! As you know, on June 5th we're playing at Frome's Cheese and Grain with the Damned. We're on our second (at least) allotment of tickets....Contact us by phone, text or email to ensure you don't miss out!
As you may read elsewhere, an international record company of fine repute have invited us to contribute a track to a compilation album for release later in the year.
The new album is doing very well, too. See you at the next shakedown, Faithful One!

SO COOL YOU CAN SEE THE PENGUINS.

What a start to our twenty-first year, True Believer!
SevernFM playing the new album, Blues Hour Extra doing likewise and our good buddies in Spain and Italy also following suit!
Then we were made MOST welcome and encouraged by JEFFERSON STARSHIP (who graciously also sang our praises on their various Facebook and Twitter pages). Letting the action follow the word (posh prose go it Jamie) they summoned ME on stage with them. So for one song, I was fronting one of the most famous bands in history. That’s the thing with rock and roll dreams, Faithful One, every now and then they come true.
'Till then.....

P.S. They’re here! The TWENTY-FIRST anniversary t-shirts are ready for you NOW!

WEARY OF THE SCHMALTZ?

True believer, there should be at least ONE picture of your handsome correspondent engaging with a squad of firemen somewhere adjacent. No, it wasn’t a support gig to the Village People oddly enough, we were doing a secret party for Tom when to my delight, the whole wretched circuit board caught fire. I don’t mean half hearted SPARKS and damp FIREWORKS, I mean FLAMES, baby! I seriously thought it was dry ice to start with. Brilliant! Luckily nobody was hurt, but we all smelt of ashtrays for a while afterwards and a bag of baps went missing presumed eaten in the darkness.
You’ll almost certainly be aware of the great attendances at the gigs over the holidays: thanks for your continued support!
The advertising campaign for the new record is gaining traction...and I’m working on the video....more of which later. Plenty airplay, indeed BOB will be spinning more of the album on the BLUES SHOW on GTFM 12th January. The record itself is selling very well, besides being highly praised, so drop me a line for your copy soon.
Since I started to write this, Paul Stiles has been playing the tunes on UK Blues Today radio station, so a big shout out to him! And while I’m handing out big howdies, many sincere thanks for all the cards and messages over the holidays! I must admit that I’m always taken aback by the amount of love and goodwill that comes my way every birthday and Christmas!
Should you care to look around the site, there is a painting of me. You can view the original on the wall at the Prince of Wales, Ledbury. This is at least the second time I’ve shimmied into a gig only to be confronted by a likeness of myself. It’s an odd sensation I can tell you.
Probably the next time we speak, I’ll be announcing the TWENTY FIRST ANNIVERSARY T.SHIRTS! - double sided and obviously a limited run, so you won’t want to miss out Faithful One!

TALES OF DRUNKENESS AND CRUELTY, TRANSLATED FROM THE HEROES TONGUE

True Believer, first things first; the mighty DAIMLER has almost completed 300,000 miles, which I’m reliably informed is the equivalent of circling the globe 12 times!
I WOULD tell you about our first visit to the TENBY BLUES FESTIVAL, but frankly, it would be pointless. SO MANY PEOPLE came to see us that I’m sure you must have been among them. According to the festival site we were one of the firm favorites!
Reception of the new album has been extremely positive, and the various radio stations playing it have been generous enough to let me know their most favourable opinions, which is encouraging (in fact CÉSAR at BIKER STREET RADIO is playing it right now!).
Next year marks our 21st anniversary, and the commemorative t-shirts are already on the way. We have some really new and unusual treats planned for you, so be ready, Faithful One!

LAND OF HOPE AND CROSBY

Faithful One, the time has come to talk of many things; firstly, thank you for all the cards and messages on my birthday! Also Hardtail Marc Turner has kindly pointed out that 100% BIKER magazine has called me 'ONE OF THE BEST LIVING AXEMEN THAT BRITAIN HAS TO OFFER'....well, I mean to say coo...aw...gosh.
DIG THIS! On Wednesday 26th November, we’re at the Cheese and Grain in Frome, supporting WALTER TROUT BAND. We’ve got cheap tickets for you, so contact us in the usual way. I don’t want the money, but the people I owe it to need it really badly.
As ever, Boxing day means GINGSTOCK at Scallys, Weston-Super-Mare...and another mindsnapper will be had at the Dolls House in Abertillery, so don’t miss that.
Finally, from all the workshy deadbeats here, a sincere thanks to all True Believers for giving us an even fabbier year than before and I wish to extend to all of you and your families a kicking Christmas and a boss 2015.
Right, off to play at Tenby Blues Festival (might see you there)!

GIGANTIC LANDCRABS IN EARTH TAKEOVER BID.

A whole plethora of activities to announce and explain this month, True Believers, so buckle up and I’ll get right to it! We’re well and truly on the march again!
Firstly, for the umpteenth time in succession, I have to thank you all for the fabulous efforts y'all undertake just to share an evenings boogaloo with a shopworn antediluvian guitar wrangler! For instance, at Gloucester and repeatedly in Stroud; and remember recently that I’d said our latest gigs in Wellington were the best to date? Well, we were there subsequently and it was EVEN MORE jumping. So big shout out to all the kickers and truckers that support us so faithfully.
Here are a couple of events that I know you’ll want to mark on your calendars; the annual KELVSTOCK is at the DOLLS HOUSE in ABERTILLERY on the 28th December. It’s a given that all the Aber studs and gojus BOROUGHETTES will be in fine Yuletide cavorting mode, so if you’re a stranger to Kelvstock........well, don’t be! Come and get involved!
Another thing you’ll want to be a part of is NEW YEARS EVE. This year we’re at the PORTCULLIS in Fishponds in Bristol. Already Faithful Ones from out of the area are booking up, so don’t leave it too late! PAUL is the man you’ll want to contact and he’s on 01179 659 222.
We’re planning to put together a memorial show for the late Johnny Winter on 22nd December at the Two Pigs in Corsham. We did a few gigs with Johnny a while back and he was very kind to me personally and very complimentary about me to my erstwhile manager, so lets put together a decent tight evening to honour the great man. I’ll be telling you more about it very soon, so keep your eyes peeled.
If you want a signed copy of the new album POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM, let me know before they go on general sale. Real music is out there and real people are making it. We’re giving it our best shot!
Yours 'til the load out.

DAZZLING DATA AND DANGEROUS DECLARATIONS OF DUBIOUS DISTINCTION!

I think it’s fair to say that the visit to Colne was the most successful ever; there should be photographs elsewhere on the site to illustrate the adventure. Certainly, a well known Blues Scribe was taken aside by one of the festival organisers and robustly quizzed about us If I understand it correctly; ALL THIS MONEY was being paid to ALL THESE BIG NAME BANDS and the main rooms were empty! And THESE CLOWNS were filling every room they could get their hands on! We damn near sold out of t-shirts too. We had Dave Hellhound on bass this trip. I believe you can see a picture of this handsome rascal on another page, but when it comes down to Northern Murder Bass, the man stands alone. There are special commemorative double sided t-shirts, at the printing stage, to mark our 21st anniversary...they’ll be with you very soon, True Believer!
We’ve also been very well served at other places; Two Pigs, Jerry’s Blues Club... sounds boastful, but if you were there, you’ll know it was TRUE. And special mentions to BONES’S gang at High Wycombe... always a highlight to see the Faithful Ones of High Standing there.
Right... can’t idle away a lovely day like this... it’s Adventure Time!

A GARGANTUAN GALLERY OF GARULOUS GOINGS ON GUARANTEED TO GARNER YOUR GOODWILL!

True Believer, as you read this, you may be aware of a disturbance in the force....hopefully we’ve tarted up the creaky old website a smidge...and hopefully it tickles your toaster a tad! We were a last minute addition to the Upton festival but you can see for yourself from the picture elsewhere on the site how much of a hit we made. And at Gloucester Blues Festival the promoter told us we had the biggest crowd of the night. Probably due to the media coverage the FINNS gig was a smashing event...I could go on.... When people ask me how we manage to stay in business, I always say that it’s down to the loyalty and support of the TRUE BELIEVERS....and GOODNESS KNOWS what lies in wait at COLNE!!
Although it took four (or five?) years, making the new album seems to have been the easy bit. All the pre promotion ...review copies ...radio promotion ...download sites ...and I'm trying to get a kind of clipshow to send to all of YOU... so you can have a taste... so you can tell me which tunes you’d like to hear LIVE.
It's great when you come up and say HEY at the gigs, Faithful One ...no backward participation in THIS mans town!

PASS THE JUG, COUSIN !

I’m kind of reluctant to trade on your loyalty TOO MUCH, True Believers, as the support for us at The Bear in Marlborough was more than anyone could have hoped for....but, well, here goes....
Saturday 19th we’re back at FINNS in Weymouth. I think the local press are going to do a piece on us, and I’m trying to get local radio involved too. I really want this to be a ripsnorting success ....so if you’re in the locality, please slide along and share the night with us. It’s going to be loud, fast and late...so, should you feel like cutting up rough and carrying on generally, this is the site for you!
More support to thank you for at HONITON and Bristol’s GOLDEN LION......and before you know it, we’ll be back at Colne, shimmying down with Les, Sizzle Sisters, Full Figure Julie and all the usual suspects!
By the time you read this, I’ll be mastering the new record....a new approach for me, but we did it with the SOFT GROUND album for the ANGEL AIR label, so it must be a smart move cats. Sleeve has been at the printers for over a year, so we’re ready to lay it on you....nearly!
We’ve also been invited to share some tracks with the BBC, so stardom can only be a matter of time now...
See you real soon, Faithful One!

WHAT DO WE WANT? TIME TRAVEL! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? IT’S IRRELEVANT!

True believers, I’ll confess this sounds unlikely, but it’s true, and if you were there, you’ll bear me witness. Quite a few times in June we’ve turned up at places we’ve never been before, only to find them FULL with people who’ve come to see us. Sometimes long standing supporters, sometimes novitiates who’ve heard about us from Faithful Ones spreading the word. Either way, it’s quite some feeling, I can tell you. And, by the way, when I say full, I mean rammed. Crazy nights at Swansea, Sodbury, The Boat, The Bush....it would be sinful to omit anyone, but there are plenty to choose from!
Shortly, we’re at the Bear in Marlborough....first time with the new management. It’s a good room and it would be great if you joined us, just to show the new people that we mean BUSINESS.
Twelve months ago (as the horse flies), I dropped the CD sleeve off at the printers. I’ve just finally finished the record...FOUR YEARS after I started. So I’ve had to tweak the sleeve, to bring it into line with the revisions, but at long last, we’re ready to go.
Last item on the agenda....on the 13th July we’re at the Swan in Southampton. As far as anyone knows, this is the last time that they’ll be putting music on, and the landlady told me they wanted to go out on top, so come on down and let’s rip it up together!
Festivals again...hope to see y'all there....come up and say HOWDY wont you?
Boogie onward, Faithful One!

EXALTED COMPANION OF WORRIED MEN NIGHTS

Greetings, True Believer! And listen and attend, as I thank you for the best night we’ve ever had at Wellington. Also, sincere thanks for coming to initiate us into the Gladiator, where the hospitality was most welcome. We enjoyed the wild ride at Stroud and want you to know that we’re looking forward to our return!
We’ve played at Abertillery for a long time. The management of the venue where we performed were gratified (and I suspect amazed) by the strength and sheer volume of your brow beating heavy leather support. We’re back there soon and I’m trying to hold this years annual KELVSTOCK there too at Christmas, so stay tuned.
Still more new tunes being shoehorned into the show and hopefully more and better things to share with you later in the year. But for now, try to keep it between the ditches and we’ll smell you later, Faithful One!

PS: When we send out the email gig lists, sometimes we get the odd 'non-delivery' notice. So if you didn’t receive your usual missive, or if you’d like to start getting the emails, please let us have your current email address. Have mercy on the Dynamic Management Team, Mellow Ones!

SURRENDER TO THE RHYTHM THAT'S CALLING YOU HOME

SQUALLY POCKER DUM, True Believers! As welcome and inevitable as the Demon King appearing from a trapdoor in a pantomime, it's your old Uncle Handsome rubbing his grubby mitts together to bring you yet more sniff snaff from Be-bop-a-lula Land!
Truckloads of people coming to see at present - travelling some distances too! (Hello BICESTER!). Good new places springing up as well; Redditch was far out, Andover was jumping and big HEY to those who tracked us down in Southampton!
Glad to hear that you're enjoying the new tunes - such a lot of them that it's hard to maintain a balance between incoming stuff and the existing hits!
Thanks for turning out in such numbers for our show with the PRETTY THINGS. DEL BROMHAM from STRAY got up and had a blow with us. He wrote to me afterwards, and I have to report that he’s as generous as he is talented. Trust me Cats, that's a rare combination.
But there’s more and better on the runway for later in the year, my Droogies... as Al Jolson said YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!
(And as Walter the Wallaby said in BRAND NEW MONTY PYTHON BOK (sic)) POO BOOP A DIPPLE TOOP, Faithful One!

KEYS THAT JINGLE IN YOUR POCKET, WORDS THAT JANGLE IN YOUR HEAD

True Believers, my heartfelt thanks for the terrific support at Jerry’s Blues Club! And I don’t believe that anyone could have had a bigger reception at the Rolleston....my word, weren’t we made welcome at Stroud and our maiden voyage at Piddington was most enjoyable!

Now for the serious stuff:
Not everybody cares to have their identity bandied about in cyberspace, so suffice it to say that nobody-NOBODY-could have a better, more dedicated grass roots than ourselves. If you’re not finding gigs for us, you’re advising us of hiccups and negative developments, summoning the cats at the last minute and alerting us to traffic problems; I doff my cap in salute to the Faithful Ones of High Standing!
I know all right thinking True Believers will be joining us for our 15th March gig at the Cheese and Grain with the Pretty Things, but now I can confirm that Stray’s DEL BROMHAM has been added to the bill. I’ve played with El Del many a time over the years and when his tail is up all you can do is stand back and give him plenty of room! I had to follow him at the Cambridge Rock Festival main stage last year, and it was not easy!
All this seems too hot to miss, n’est pas, so if you need more tickets for your envious neighbours, text me, ring me or email me and I’ll get jumping!
We’ve something ultra special coming your way in November. Unfortunately, at the moment, it’s also ultra secret, so I can’t blab too much just yet, but I promise you that it’s the biggest thing we’ve yet done, and you’ll deffo want a slice!
I’ll see you very soon, so scrub those fingernails, Y’all!

PS. For those of you that ask (and there are a few), she only needed a tyre and a bit of welding on the exhaust. That car gets more interest than I do...

YES SIR, I CAN BOOGIE.

Careful with that axe, True Believer!
Thanks for the great support at Swansea! And how about that CRAZEE night at the Brunswick, huh? Thanks also, for not forgetting us at Shipston - good to see so many long standing True Believers!
Now, I realise an awfully large number of you are already coming to see us at THE CHEESE AND GRAIN in FROME on MARCH 15th with the PRETTY THINGS, but we can still manage to squeeze a few more in if you’re snappy. So email, text or phone me and we’ll get it done, snip snap!
Our European revels continue; Holland is on the menu again, I’ll let you know more when the Dynamic Management Team finish the hard sums with the currencies.
Everyone is very impressed with the guitar cases which the Hiscox people sent and with all the foreign travel later, they’ll certainly come in handy!
A new range of t-shirts is being printed, Faithful One, as the last lot sold out in the FASTEST TIME YET!

TOPLESS IN HYDE PARK!

True Believers, listen and attend!

On March 15th we’re at the CHEESE AND GRAIN, Frome,
with the celebrated PRETTY THINGS as you know.

Well, we were allocated a limited amount of discounted tickets and the interest has been more than anticipated. I know that all right thinking Faithful ones will want to grab a piece of the action! It promises to be a tip top night and the more of us that are there, the more larks we can have! You can ring or email me, and we’ll get it sorted out snip snap, so be the envy of your less fortunate neighbours and grab this opportunity with both mitts, Cats!

FLYING SAUCER TAKE ME AWAY, GIVE ME YOUR DAUGHTER

I’ll tell you something, and if you were there then you’ll know it to be true, Faithful One, so many people in December took me aside and whispered "You know, this is the highlight of our Christmas", that after a while I started to feel like Bing Crosby!
All the recent attendances were fantastic. Andover, Two Pigs, Gingstock were more full than usual, but Kelvin’s gig at Abertillery was a real mindsnapper. Dig this – the last night before people had to recommence work (a Sunday to boot), first time in a new place and still loaded to the rafters with thrill seeking rock ‘n’ roll starved True Believers!
You may be aware that on March 15th we’re at Frome’s Cheese & Grain with THE PRETTY THINGS. Unlike many similar bands the Pretties are still fronted by their founding members. When we played Colne R&B festival, they were also there, and I can say if they perform at Frome half as well as they did at Colne on that occasion, you’d be crazy to miss it. Obviously, we have discounted tickets so get in touch for yours at all speed!
On a personal note Cats, the Daimler is nearing 290,000 miles – MOT time soon so fingers crossed!
Sincere thanks for the Christmas and New Year messages. I do appreciate them all, True Believers!

A WOP BOP A LOO BOP A LOP BAM BOOM!

Longstanding True Believers will of course realise that this is the time of year in which I review the previous twelve months. Well, as Bob Marley would have it, GOOD FRIENDS WE HAVE AND GOOD FRIENDS WE'VE LOST ALONG THE WAY, or to paraphrase the Grateful Dead, WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN!
But I wouldn't be writing anything at all without the unswerving loyalty and belief of my Esteemed Advisers, whose goading, enticements and great personal sacrifices have already earmarked me a backbreaking work schedule for 2014 - just when I was ready to board the return train to Palookaville! The boss studs at Hiscox are furnishing me with some guitar cases, and PK Music Exchange have laid a mixing desk on me, so we wish those gentleman a superfunk new year!
I'm currently trying to compose ideas for a possible video to accompany the imminent album 'POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM', looking at suggested film clips, etc. Also, these days it seems mandatory to couple a new record release with a launch event. Please let me have YOUR ideas for a good site or town to hold it.
There should be a few surprises at GINGSTOCK on Boxing night, and obviously two Andover gigs can only mean two different shows. Wouldn't want to disappoint the Mamba posse!
A few cats in the Gloucester and Stroud areas are busting their hump getting us gigs....there was a lot of love and support at the Blues Festival....and I thank them for it!
But, naturally, that YOUR contribution is the most valued, Faithful One...for like the gods of old, if you ceased to believe in us, we simply wouldn't exist.
I wish you all a golden Christmas, and a dirty great smacker!

I'VE CHANGED MY PLEA TO GUILTY

When the new album POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM is finally finished, the plan is to shoot a video to accompany its release......So we might well put the call out soon to invite all the Faithful to be in it! A lot of people have been working hard on my behalf recently…...not everybody is keen on having their name bandied about the interweb, but special thanks to Kelvin and, as per usual, Chris Mamba, without whom etc. When I was close to defeat, they raised me to my feet.
Do you remember I had a gibbon for Christmas? Well, we had a message from his keepers, and last week was Sam Siamang’s first birthday.
Good to see so many of you at HOGGIN’ THE BRIDGE and thanks for turning out in such numbers at Bath and....well, everywhere, really!
There are a few funny things happening in November, but I’ll do my best to keep you up to date, True Believer!
‘Til then, clean up the air and treat the animals fair, my droogies.

It’s like trying to tell a stranger about rock and roll

A very serious man jabbed a bony forefinger in my face yesterday and told me that not only do some people READ this, but actually LOOK FORWARD to it. So once again I bring you the Good Word....
I can’t keep saying that Colne was fantastic; you really should come and see it for yourself. Not only were JS, Les, Full Figure Julie et al in attendance, but this year, we had a full compliment of Sizzle Sisters (last year we were one down, as Mother Sizzle was poorly. Thankfully she regained full health).
A lot of you ask about the mighty Daimler, 283,000 miles ....will she make it to 300,000? (The heir apparent waits in the wings, a bit like Rudolph just ITCHING to pull the sleigh). Some quite concerned True Believers wondering about the Handsome One’s health too. Swaying a bit lately, but still bobbing and weaving, cats!
There should be a plethora of press and a cornucopia of radio play soon, Faithful One, but I’ll let you know all about that nearer the time. You’re making me feel like a trenchcoated, fedora wearing hero, smuggling out messages to secret listeners, while the unsuspecting world snoozes on, unaware of the Important Work passing them by! So, with that, I’ll dissolve into the mists and be about my clandestine business......

PS. Thanks for all the birthday messages. The amount surprised me!

LET'S GET THE SIX OUT OF THE EGGCUP!

Just a brief natter this month, True Believer, as I’m putting myself about a bit at Colne. There were some great receptions and fab attendances in August, so thanks a heap.
An entirely different approach is planned soon and as soon as I get back, I’m on the promotional treadmill for the new album 'POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM', which I hope you’ll enjoy.
Should have more to say next time, Faithful One, but ’til then, LET’S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, ALEXIS

More than a few WEIRD SCENES INSIDE THE GOLDMINE of late! Reluctantly conceding to considerable pressure (not least from enthusiastic Pink Fairies managers) once again my cyber presence stalks the alpha waves.
Mind you, I haven’t been lolling in a hammock throwing cans at the tv: I’ve finished the new record and the sleeve is at the printers, so it’ll be with you sooner than you think! Original working titles included "BOO RADLEYS PORCH" and "I DONT THINK I CAN GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN", but eventually we decided that "POSTCARDS FROM BEDLAM" was the title which would soon be transforming my worm eaten reputation from sea to shining sea. We’ve always been lucky with press attention and radio coverage, Faithful One, but I’m bound to say when you hear THIS biscuit you’ll all yell "DOGGONE IT! THE OLE POLECAT SURE MEANS BUSINESS THIS TIME!"
We’ll also have the means for you to buy it online soon too via a paypal option which will include t-shirts and whatever other toot we feel like peddling. I KNOW how fond you are of this creaky old website, but it’s howling out to be tarted up, remade and remodelled.
THANKS, cats and kittens, for finding us at the recent UPTON and GLOUCESTER festivals and making our sessions there such rip snorting successes! I was particularly taken by the loyalty and encouragement at Gloucester...such a lot of good feeling swilling around for a grizzled old guitar mangler. The Rolleston gig was certainly a counterblast to the new austerity...a punch up the trousers courtesy of the Right Honourable Johnny Reb. Mounting the stage at the Calne Bike Meet was similar to how I imagine rounding the Horn on an old square rigger must have been, and we certainly couldn’t have done it without Road Captain Chapman and Hardtail Marc Turner; Mr Chapman proving essential at Gloucester and Upton too! We’re all roadrunners on the Highway of Consciousness, True Believer....dig you later!
PS. It looks as though the kind people at HISCOX CASES are going to let me have some of their fine products, so when you’re buying guitar cases next, tell ‘em UNCLE HANDSOME sent you!

TRAPPED IN A WORLD HE NEVER MADE

Some good times in March, weren’t there? The Arts Centre was a lark, as was the BBC broadcast. I hope that by now there should be some new features and pics on the site, and there are plenty of treats in store for April, so don’t touch that dial, True Believer!

CLAWED WITH MYSTERIES OF THE SPANISH MAIN

don’t appreciate others doing this, Faithful Ones, but I WILL briefly mention that the album I recorded with MOTT THE HOOPLE’s Verden Allen has received some fantastic reviews - with generous applause for your handsome chum’s contributions, particularly abroad! All of which bodes well for MY record, cats, which will be with you before you know it.
Incidentally, there’s a small zoo near Bristol Airport. Should any of you visit, you may notice my name on the monkey area. Nope, I haven’t been banged up, but one of my Christmas presents lives there, hence my name on his enclosure. So when you get a lot of noisy rubbish chattered at you and come home covered in gibbon dung, just see it as a greeting from me.
Some boss gigs so far this year; top receptions and I know some True Believers travel a long way. I’m going to continue to try very hard to ensure that you get the best value for your wonderful encouragement and support!
Smell you next month!

WHO’S PUTTING SPONGE IN THE BELLS I ONCE RUNG?

I can’t convince myself that anyone could have received greater support or better crowds in December and January than we did. Had some mouth watering press too. I’ll try to put it on the site, along with some new photographs when I get a minute. I have never seen so many people at the Bear in Marlborough even when I played there with a Name Band! Flattering words about your handsome correspondent in this months ‘Back Street Heroes’. Chase away those winter blues by picking up on it.

As I write this, the country is in the grip of unrelenting snow drifts and blizzards, so I intend to use any downtime to concentrate on the foreign stuff for later in the year, positive news about our Irish visit and I can hear Germany calling, besides distribution and promotion for the forthcoming record.
And speaking of records, MOTT THE HOOPLE’s VERDEN ALLEN has a new album out (you needn’t ask who’s sprayed scalding guitar all over it). You’re going to see rather a lot of us this year... festivals, bike shows and even arts centres! We’re back at the Queen Vic in Stroud too....and I know just who to thank for THAT.
Be seeing you, Faithful One!

Skeleton found unconscious on Skegness beach

ANOTHER great year! Looked decidedly wobblesome at times, but it turned out to be one of the most successful.......however you slice it! I know from listening to you that you’re really enjoying the live shows right now, which is good to hear, because so are we. Lots of new places, lots of new faces and a big old heap of faithful ones who’ve stuck with us! Out of sight!
A bit like buses really: in the new year there’ll be two albums with your handsome chum performing but I daren’t say too much at the moment. I believe I’ve mentioned before that one problem with having your own studio is that you can keep redoing things. I think I make special music for special people, so I’m determined to do my very best - but I’ll have to draw a line soon or I’ll forget my own name.
A Christmas tradition is “Gingestock” at Scallys. Come on over and work off your turkey!
Next year we’re going abroad again and there might well be one or two special things to look forward to. We’ve got a long way to go, but we’re punching all the way True Believer!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

MEANWHILE, DEEP IN THE GLISTENING NIGHT, SOMETHING STIRS

I’m assured we’re entrenched in the maw of the worst recession the western world has ever seen. However, my diary for the next year is filling up nicely, largely down to your efforts (not least your tireless support) recommending us to new venues and reminding older places about us.
Some acquaintances of mine (it would be an exaggeration to say they were much more than friends of friends) are world famous musicians – people who have actually tampered with substantial chunks of history. They banded together, formed a fantastic group and released a stupendous album – certainly one of the most innovative and exciting I’ve heard since I was at school. Despite all of this, they’ve called it a day because they couldn’t get any gigs. It’s people like you who prevent this happening to me and I thank you for it.
Speaking of next year, the mighty Daimler has passed 270,000 miles. Will she make it to 300,000?! (How many times around the world is that?)!

I DONT WANT ANY UNCLE JOHNS JUMPING BACK IN THE ALLEY TONIGHT.

I suppose it’s the same with a boot full of alligator dung; you think you’ve got to the end of it, but no....still more to go.
As you may have realised, not all of the problems have been successfully met...a combination of technical issues, health and (believe it or not) floods have prevented us from bumping into each other. I’m not going to tempt providence any more, but to those True Believers who are keeping the faith....thank you, I promise to repay your loyalty. To those of you who haven’t....I hope your turkey bites you at Christmas!
It MIGHT be an idea....if you REALLY want to be up to date with gig news, recording stuff, etc....to let me have your email or snail mail address; that way I might be able to update you easier. Have a think anyway. (It’s what you learn after you know everything that helps the most!).
The recent beer festival was a gas. Thanks for waiting in the cold rain for us ...Southamptons gig was a pip and the Aberkenfig posse did us proud, as always.
Stick with it Faithful One, already next year is looking a sight more positive. I’m with you...you’re with me...we're going down in history!

I TRACED HER LITTLE FOOTPRINTS IN THE SNOW

August might well be represented by an image of an upside down wreck, the smoke clearing to reveal a solitary wheel spinning, slowly coming to rest while the horn emits an uninterrupted screech.
Many of you have sent me emails. Thanks, it’s been appreciated!
HOWEVER....Colne was a gas (the organisers used the publicity phrase "hottest guitar of the weekend"....it tickled me!) and I simply can’t tell you how well the Upton and Gloucester festivals went. The other gigs I managed to make were subject to full attendances and gleeful receptions...as you know!
Indeed, no less an authority than Sister Feelgood (you know, Blues Matters) reckoned the Upton show would go down in the annals. And she knows about these things.
Borough Blues Festival.....following some boss bands we still managed to be applauded till the very echo....thanks cats and kittens!
Despite all the trials and sorrows, I managed to bolt myself on to Mott the Hoople’s Verden Allen on the main stage at Cambridge Rock Festival. As you know "we" were booked as the headline act for the April edition. However, this time we were third on the bill.
As I looked to my side, I noticed the Mick Ralphs Band making encouraging and comradely gestures and I believe I saw Ian Hunter’s daughter Tracey briefly execute a slinky frug.
Many other star rockanrollers enfolded me to their bosoms - all heady stuff for Betty Thyer’s boy .
Next year will be VERY different...but right now I need Len Tuckey’s fried chicken (J'en ai marre, as Morrissey would say!).

Viddy THIS, my droogs; old school is never old hat.

Some fantastic receptions and wonderful receptions last month...Wow! The bike shows were a SCREAM, weren’t they?!
Right now, I’m working on the press and radio stuff for the forthcoming record. I was in the studio this morning, listening to it....gee whiz, there are some surprises in store!
Blues festivals and bike shows seem to be the theme for this month....Come and say 'Howdy' won’t you?
Not only that, but we’re coming back to some areas we haven’t visited in QUITE a while!
Who said "Rock and roll is dead and done; bring back Lonnie Donnegan"?!

SATURDAY NIGHT, I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY LEGS (or DEDICATED TO YOU, BUT YOU WEREN’T LISTENING )

Well, I didn’t expect such large amounts of either people or applause in May. There IS a double dip recession on, after all! The Live Lounge gig was a gas, and we’re picking up some nice radio play, too...which is handy, with the new record ALMOST ready for you.
This month appears to have a few bike show gigs; if you feel like joining us, don’t be backward in saying "Howdy". It’s always a pleasure to put faces to the names I write to.
Remember I said that this site is being rebuilt? I shall need some new photgraphs of you heathens, so don’t be shocked if I stick a camera in your mush sometime soon, True Believer!
Anyway, I’m bashing away at the record sleeve this afternoon, so I’d better get back to it, or the album will take EVEN longer.
See you at the weekend, Faithful One!

I LIKE MY BABYS PUDDING

Thanks to all of you who sent concerns about my health. Do you know there just MIGHT be a patch of blue sky up ahead.
Some of last months gigs were among the best attended and CERTAINLY the best received for a long long time. I’m wrapping up the long awaited album at the moment. The website is shortly being rebuilt, so you’ll soon be able to obtain the record and our t-shirts (etc) via on-line mail order.
In the meantime, the gigs POUR in, and there are some good festival appearances and foreign adventures to look forward to. Maybe some more radio stuff too.
Speaking of radio stuff, thanks to the BBC for helping with my guitar at the riotous gig in Hereford and thanks to all those who came to see us at Southampton!
Some new places to check out this month....many of which came from YOU!
Keep the faith True Believer!

AWESOME ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR YOU TO CONJURE WITH, PONDER WITH......AND YAWN AT!!

So much going on at the moment. I hope you’ll excuse my brief epistle this month True Believers! Firstly, as you can see, we’re playing with SAVOY BROWN; I wouldn’t like to promise but I can’t recall them playing in England since the 1970s, so you really didn’t ought to miss this....Ring me for your discounted tickets!
Since the demise of the Pig in the City, I’ve been left without a gig in Gloucester. Now, I’m hoping that you want to see ME as much as I want to see YOU, so is there any chance y’all could give me some ideas where to play?
Apart from that, I’ll be playing some guest guitar with Juicy Lucy...I’ve done it before a few times, but I’ll definitely be doing it again. You can also follow my adventures with Mott the Hoople’s Verden Allen by checking out the ecstatic reviews from Uber Rock and in this months Record Collector magazine. Right...lets get this party started Faithful One.

CRYING WONT BRING YOU BACK

Well, that was February. Where do I start? The gigs with Verden Allen were a brief foretaste of Heaven (you can hear the BBC radio session from February 24th, by the way), and that’s the half of it. Plenty big time rock and rollers came to wish me luck and afterwards were generous enough to offer me a cheery Thumbs Aloft. However, the next day we were kicking it Worried style in Fishponds, which was down and dirty and I LIKE IT LIKE THAT BABY.
The visit to the New Inn in Witney was blissy, and we made a whole heap of new friends there....and caught up with some True Believers of long standing. I understand that there’s a nice Lemon rock review....which reminds me, some of the reviews for the Swanage Blues Festival were smashing; thank you everyone that’s taken the time to say such kind things!
We’re doing a gig with SAVOY BROWN at the Cheese and Grain in Frome in April; trust me, you won’t want to miss that, Faithful One...ring me for your ticket.
Meantime....keep it between the ditches, brothers and sisters!

THE HANDSOME ONE: MAN OR MYTH?

I’ll bet you didn’t see THIS coming, True Believers!
Obviously, you all know Verdan Allen; keyboard player, songwriter and sometimes vocalist with MOTT THE HOOPLE? Well, due to most unfortunate circumstances, his guitarist has been forced to devote his energies to events in his personal life. With a Bob Harris session, more BBC radio broadcasts and a big old London showcase imminent, it was urgent that someone whose talent was only rivalled by their good looks step into the breach. So, on February 11th at the Half Moon in Putney, I’m playing with SOFT GROUND; it’s an all-star line up, as it happens (apart from me, I’m afraid), and some huge iconic legends are supposed to be dropping in too. It’s shaping up to be the most fun London gig for me since I played the Pink Fairies Marquee back when the world was young.
With a becoming generosity, my guys have given me dispensation to perform this Important work....but if I turn up on Sunday at the Golden Lion with a starlet on each arm, just act natural, Faithful One!

DAVID HASSELHOFF STOLE MY BAND

Well that’s not STRICTLY true, but various Worried alumni ARE backing him at the Bristol Hippodrome...
As the year staggers to a close, I’m able to review 2011 with a satisfied grin on the handsome mug. I’ve done, or begun to do, almost everything I set out to accomplish at the start of the year. January seems a long time ago now: it’s very easy to sneer at our slight achievements, but we will grow...and a new catalogue of possibilities is available. For instance, we’ve contributed a track in aid of the British Heart Foundation, which has won an award, the foreign stuff is bearing some valuable fruit and the recent gigs were very well attended and received...good that we’ve not been forgotten in places where we haven’t been able to visit for a while.
We’ve got a long way to go, but we’re trying very hard Faithful One; Happy New Year and don’t be a stranger!

THE DEVIL IN FISHNET STOCKINGS

It’s possible, Faithful One, that after such a rambunctious month as November, most men would just as agreeably rest on their laurels.
Magnificent gigs at Cherington and Scallys.
Jaw dropping receptions in Somerset.
Clasped to the collective bosom in Wales as per usual.
Whether the local publicity (including a fine colour piece in the Cotswold Journal) had much influence, I’ll reserve judgement, but we all enjoyed the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Yes sirree!
All in all, this has been a truly marvy year for us; probably more adventures than at any other time since we started....and next year bodes even more exciting prospects. I’m taking it for granted that you’ll be there with us....so till next time...Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year.

Sincere THANKS to all of you who keep the faith....and HAVE MERCY, BABY.

HAVE THAT ONE WASHED AND BROUGHT TO MY TENT

THANK YOU for making the Swanage Blues Festival the ripsnorting humdinger that it was. I’ll just BET that some footage turns up on Youtube. The Moonrakers Rally was out of sight, as was the HOGGING THE BRIDGE gig. The new places last month gave us a big welcome too....
I know it’s a sore point, but the new record IS getting finished... it’ll be worth the wait, faithful one.
Among the treats which lie in wait for you is the gig at the CHEESE AND GRAIN with NINE BELOW ZERO on DECEMBER 10th. Ring me for your tickets....don’t miss this one playmates! Besides toiling away on the new record, a few other changes are under way...Europe is calling, as is...well, wait and see. Let’s just say that you won’t find me sunk in hoggish slumber, True believers!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR

I know I know. Every year about this time I tell you how incredibly well we were received at Colne, how many people came to see us, etc. Well it was worse this year. The advance publicity claimed that we were the 'TALK OF THE FRINGE', besides other accolades which modesty precludes my repeating here. The upshot of all this was even more people and an even higher quotient of good feeling; take a bow, Les, Boat Julie, Full Figure Julie and the Sizzle Sisters.
But even the spangled magnificence of Colne was dwarfed by the Irish adventure. In a way, it's almost pointless me relating the fabulous welcome and reception meeted out to us, where we were granted the widest scope for self expression. Whatever I say, I'm going to look like a boasting swaggart, so I'll content myself with the memory of sailing through the aftermath of the recent hurricane. Some ships were cancelled, but our skipper was made of harder sinews and although the voyage resembled a bucking bronco with hiccups, your handsome matelot was discharged ashore, bloodied but unbowed....having been awakened by a ghost (possibly), chased out of my hotel wearing a small dog (definitely) and played a lovely gold topped Les Paul (thank you Graham Pilgrim).

THE HANDSOME ONE LOOKS TO THE WEST AND DIGS IT.

Some mind snapping gigs last month True Believers. NO TIME to let you know about our slot at the famous PONTARDAWE FESTIVAL but we still managed to mount an assault on decorum with those of you that could make the scene.
Scallys was a boss night too, one of the best for a long time!
As I write this, we’re getting ready for the Colne trip...with the Irish soiree looming ever closer.
A very switched on lady has offered to do some serious publicity for me, so if things go as planned, your handsome correspondent will shortly be UBIQUITOUS ("a reputation bigger than gasoline"). Also, all the foreign offers HAVE to mean a different way of conducting things. It’ll probably take a little while to strike the correct balance, but who knows?
I might be able to buy some more guitars.
Yours 'till the load out, Faithful One!

THE SOUND YOU HEAR IS THE BARING OF TEETH

Some of the recent gigs we've done have been amongst the most jumping and fabby EVER. The Upton and Borough festivals immediately come to mind. Unfortunately, others .....well.....I do honestly feel that I owe some True Believers an apology. Let me explain.
Obviously, I'm not going to be stupid enough to name names and declaim the wicked SPECIFICALLY, but I'm told that occasionally the staff in certain places are rude to the small but appreciative and increasingly irritated crowd that has come to hear us play.
Let me know whenever this occurs, and I won't go back there. It really is that simple.
If you're generous enough to allow me to support my (admittedly threadbare) lifestyle in a reasonably agreeable way, then I think you deserve a modicum of courtesy. Let me know when it happens....I don't want anyone ruining your evening except me.
Let's not end on a sour note; more foreign interest this week, Faithful Ones; they want me in Spain now.

THE EXILE OF THE HANDSOME ONE: IN WHICH OUR VAGABOND HERO ROAMS THE WORLD, FLEEING FROM THE MEMORY OF THE TERRIBLE THINGS HE'S DONE...

So many people came out to see us in June that I find it difficult to believe there's a recession. In Taunton, they even camped overnight!
The Isle of Wight adventure was wonderful; should the Irish spree turn out to be half as enjoyable I shan't complain. Finns keeps getting better and better and the Borough Blues Festival was a dream.
I didn't have time to tell you about the gig at H.M.S. Sultan but Her Brittannic Majestys Senior Service made us MOST welcome, and the show ran with the sort of precision that made the landlubbing Handsome One gape in admiration!
I'm still fixing up the Dutch dates in between working on the new record; both items are choice cuts guaranteed to gladden the hearts of True Believers everywhere!

Don’t be a timid curtain peeper Faithful One; get involved!

A NEW CAREER IN A NEW TOWN

Modesty precludes reporting all the accolades with which we were showered in May (sometimes in the MOST unlikely settings), but it was marvy to see so many of you in Bridgwater and at Finns...the welcome was staggering after all this while!
I didn’t have the time to tell you all about the gig at the Tawe Delta Blues Club, but some of you winkled us out just the same and partied on down.
As you can see, more new places, more bike shows and blues festivals this month and the new record is shaping up to be quite something.
You may well be sharing some surprises with us soon...perhaps necessitating a whole new way of going about things.
What a handsome pragmatist I am True Believers!

YOU CAN’T PUT YOUR ARM AROUND A MEMORY

Lots and lots to spill this month true believers, so pardon me if it seems more fragmented than somewhat. I’m pressing on with the foreign dates. Ireland and the Isle of Wight are buttoned down and Holland is being sorted out even as we speak. I’ll tell you what though, the logistics of moving three poltroons and a van load of hardware across the rolling Maine is more involved than I’d imagined. Goodness knows how circuses move elephants around. Good job I have the assistance of JOHAN the salt stained peg-legged sea rover to deal with the Netherlands.
Back at good old FINNS in Weymouth this month...come and make the scene with us, it’s BOUND to be a righteous evening. Speaking of which, don’t forget your tickets for the Cheese and Grain date with Nine Below Zero! Give me a call on the usual number...it’s later than you think Faithful One!
A LOAD of you turned out to greet us in April and I’m being welcomed back into places where thought I’d been overlooked. So thank you, y'all!
Anyway, I’m waiting until I think that everybody who wants a copy of the Christmas recordings has asked, then I’ll do one big old mail out.
Hands up who remembers Doughnut from the Double Deckers!
Till later keep watching the skies!

FORD TRANSIT GLORIA MUNDI

If you came to see us in February, you may not have realised it, but we were using GREEN DAYS drums. No, I haven’t been at the Fruit Punch, it’s true.
Unfortunately, there was no time to tell you about the gig with WISHBONE ASH, but I CAN let you know that we’re playing with our good buddies NINE BELOW ZERO at the Cheese and Grain on May 28th. As always, ring me for your tickets; cheaper for you, better for me, true believers!
Probably because we don’t share other bands regrettable lack of respect for young womanhood and disgraceful table manners we’ve been booked to play in Ireland and the Isle of Wight. I’m still confirming the rest of the world, mellow ones. I did have a most interesting meeting with a gentleman from Holland the other night...AGAIN!
Smashing prose and an engaging pic of your handsome pal in the Ocelot - a magazine you should support.
Don’t forget to let me know if you want a copy of the solo tracks I recorded over the Christmas period....still MORE new places to visit this month; fancy it, Faithful One?

Well, well, well! Just had a BOSS night at the Greyhound in Swindon; as so often, this worthy guzzle shop springs to my aid in times of need...and thanks to so many of you for coming to see us!
Some of my earlier recordings are available from I-Tunes; if I make another record (stop sniggering at the back!), I’ll have to ensure to enlist that medium. Unless I’m carted off by an alien queen to assist her in repopulating her planet (nice work if you can get it). I’ll see you soon, True believers!

SET THE CONTROLS FOR THE HEART OF THE SUN

Just been reading a piece in Q magazine about Mick Kirton doing a drum solo with his arm in a sling. A band I’d played with (oh SO many years ago) have tentatively reformed and I was invited to be a part of it ... dates were mooted and venues booked....but these things end for a reason and it’s probably best to remember the larks we’d enjoyed back when the world was young and we were golden with promise.
My amplifier and speaker cabinet were obtained for me in 1988. I’ve used them with a punishing schedule which makes B.B.King seem workshy...around 200 gigs per year. I’m starting to think that they must be the most CONSISTENTLY USED bits of hardware in England. I think I’ll get in touch with the Guinness book of records to find out if I qualify for a listing.
When we played in Tredegar recently, Ray Phillips from Budgie came to see us. After a leisurely few hours engaged in badinage with Ancient Road Warrior Kirton, he got up to drum with us. If the planets align correctly we’ll be playing together some more. You never know!
Quite a few of you have been generous enough to enquire about my health of late. Went to hospital last week for painful TESTS...electric shock type things. Ow.
Got some new places to play besides dates on the Isle of Wight (later) and Europe (much later).
And if all THAT wasn’t enough, I recorded three tracks over the Christmas period. As before, your handsome chum is playing everything...I’m not going to issue it commercially, but if any True Believers want a copy, let me know!
It’s later than you think, Faithful One!

A FOOLS LAMENT IS THE WISE MANS MILKSHAKE....

There’s a website, I think it’s based in America, called THE LOUIE REPORT, dedicated to all things connected with the popular beat tune "LOUIE LOUIE". Well, our rendition has won us the fiercely contested accolade of "LOUIE OF THE WEEK"!
Thanks a whole big bunch, Louie watchers!
It’s happened before but once again an autographed picture of The Handsome One is being sold on E-Bay.
Dovetail Strings have generously made some plectra for me; I’m sure this fine product will improve the crude yet exciting style which has propelled me to fame with such dizzying velocity.
Come and see us soon and let me know, Faithful One!

PLUS CA CHANGE, PLUS C'EST LA MEME

Sorry for the apparent whimsicality regarding webstuff, computers and even the phone recently. All of that stuff is provided by the same people and the service hasn’t been ideal. Some other people have told me that THEIR regular cyber duties have been touch and go too, so its not just OUR little luddite scene that’s suffered. Various theories rest the blame on the weather, the season of goodwill and even the amount of web traffic generated by the Coronation Street storyline. Beats me. All I know is we’re back!
I had a really big old-dude -type health scare recently. The kind which can cause a reevaluation of ones life. Just as I was weighing up the options, an odd series of events came into play and fate took an interest in your handsome chum. A very well connected player from my past popped up out of the blue and, with no prompting from me, made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. With the old-dude-type health concern still on my mind I decided to go for it. The upshot of this is some new faces on the scene...but ones whose pedigrees you’ll instantly recognise and applaud. On a prosaic level, doors are opening for me even more readily than previously and as a result of the medical attention I received, I’m actually playing the guitar better than I have for a few years. I hope you’ll agree that I’m not a boastful man but trial gallops indicate that this latest edition is quite something. Cats, believe me, when serendipity knocks you have to answer! Once again, I find myself adorning the front cover of the SCRUMPY AND WESTERN magazine. It’s not a photo that I’ve ever seen before....hooray for Scrumpy Ken!
A really-truly record company have gotten hold of some recordings which I did in the mid-80s and released them. It’s quite different to what I’m doing these days, but I’m glad that the tracks have finally found a wider audience.
I notice that we’re back in Gloucester soon. Last time we played there, as I was putting the guitar in the car, I noticed a witch waving a crossbow being spun around and around in a shopping trolley. Now that’s not something you see every day is it?
Happy New Year Faithful One!

THE APE WHO SPEAKS

Many, many marvellous things are happening for us at the moment True Believers; so much so that I’m in danger of missing out on real gilt-edged opportunities as I stand and gape like a want-wit.
Tremendous scenes of felicitous merrymaking and deep joy in Bradford-on-Avon, Fareham and the Red Hot Club and should you like to see what you’ve missed - why, simply dial up MORTIFROGS CHANNEL on your computer and you’ll be rewarded with more Youtube Handsome cavortings than you can shake a stick at!
I’ll see you in my dreams Faithful One....ah, what fools these mortals be!

AND I WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT HER AND SURVIVE

(Just the briefest of scribbles this month true believer - half of what I say is meaningless but I say it just to reach you...)
A while back someone told me that a man could consider himself fortunate to have 5 real friends. Well, I must be lucky indeed, as it felt as though I had a whole room full helping me celebrate my birthday at the Two Pigs! If you were there then you’ll know that the faithful travelled from Gloucestershire, London, Dorset, Hampshire and other places to join me. Yet again, boss words and snappy pics in the Ocelot, Live Wire magazines and the trusty old Swindon Advertiser. Viva the Fourth Estate!
Hope you enjoyed the gig with the truly marvy Juicy Lucy; Dan Benson has put some clips on Youtube should you fancy reliving the thrills!
Can you believe that the Reverend Spadge Dooley has released a record entitled "Please stop stamping on my head"? Sounds too good to miss!
Certain streets have certain corners. Sooner or later I’ll turn yours.

THE BOY WHO LEFT HOME TO FIND FEAR

Such a lot to spout this month Faithful One!
Let me start by saying that I’m not sure if I’ll actually make it back from this years Colne experience; Last weekend we did a gig in Tredegar which cost us two motor cars, besides the van becoming poorly. It was only the mighty Bicycle Repair Man, emerging from the glistening night, who saved the day! Also, since we last spoke, the Flying V has gone to America AGAIN and another amplifier has gone up in smoke. So for all I know my place could be taken by a pigs head on a stick.
Before I forget I owe apologies to two persons: for all I know they may not care to have their names bandied about the interweb, so suffice it to say that I promised a gentleman in Bristol that I’d play "Back in the Night" for him and I didn’t. This was because I forgot. Secondly, a longstanding True Believer was very kind to me in Liddington and I didn’t take the chance to thank him properly, merely mouthing a series of platitudes. I’m glad I have the chance to redress things here.
The big news is on September 13th we’re recording a live album at the Two Pigs in Corsham, so come on over to my place and party hearty!
Also, on September 16th, we’re at Riffs Bar in Swindon with blues-rock legends JUICY LUCY, who you’ll remember from their huge hit "Who do you Love?"! Tickets are only £5, so ring me on 0779 2073086 to get yours mellow one!

SIX EYES, ONE VISION

Okay, true believers - short and snappy this month!
Thanks for making such a big fuss of me at Upton Blues Festival!
In a couple of weeks, we’re off to the Great British R & B Festival in Colne for our traditional appearances; might see you there? Let’s see how much trouble we can get in.
If you click on the "Reviews" page of the website you can sneak a peek at an account of our Huntingdon Hall gig as seen by BLUES IN BRITAIN magazine.
Planning to record a live album at the Two Pigs in Corsham on September 13th ...which is also my birthday! Come along and get your voice on the record and your name on the sleeve!
Besides all THIS, I’m zipping over to Germany to sort out some European dates.
Right...see you at the weekend, Faithful One!

SI TU DOIS PARTIR

Remember last month Johnny Kinkade was repairing the broken headstock on my Les Paul Jr? No sooner had it returned from his tender ministrations when I broke my Flying V and in the middle of a live podcast too! Honestly, if my guitars could speak I’d be on the Jeremy Kyle show for abuse.
More and more people are coming to see us these days...thanks for all your continued support true believers!
Big shout out to CESAR who’s playing us on his radio show; tune into www.radiocoteaux.com and www.radiovassiviere.com to get hip to his trip!
More festivals and bike shows this month and then it'll be.....COLNE!
See you in a couple of days, Faithful One!

THE WEEK LOOKED GOOD ON PAPER

Doubtless you’ve heard of the marvy run of gigs recently, particularly at Tredegar and Corsham? Thanks playmates for the appreciation!
Started work on the next album, to be called "THE NEW TESTAMENT". I’m intending for most of it to be live, but there are a few unique personal tunes which you must hear as well. I’ve always boasted that I make special music for special people, and I intend to keep my word this time too. Did you enjoy the Wilko Johnson and Juicy Lucy gigs?
More to follow later in the year, faithful one!
Hey! If sartorial correctness is your bag, our new vests and double-sided t-shirts should tickle your toaster-don’t feel left out this summer...promote your chest with a Worried Men vest!
Right...lunch time!
See you at the Cheese and Grain with Peter Green on Sunday true believer!

I’VE NEVER SEEN A MAN EAT SO MANY CHICKEN WINGS

Quick update faithful ones;
There’s a lot happening in May and you know how you get if you miss out!
On May 6th we’re playing in Bristol with JUICY LUCY. Should be a magnificent evening of blues rock and guitar histrionics!
May 13th sees us at Huntingdon Hall in Worcester with WILKO JOHNSON.
May 30th we’re at the Cheese and Grain, Frome with Fleetwood Mac twilight mysterioso PETER GREEN.
When you decide which shows engage your fancy (indeed, how could you resist?), please give me a ring on 0779 207 3086. It’s cheaper for you and better for me if we do the ticket thing between ourselves.
Before I forget, thank you for coming to see us with DUMPYS RUSTY NUTS and WISHBONE ASH recently.
You did us proud, true believers!

NO-ONE BUT YOU AND I, SAY THE BELLS OF PRINCE FAR-I

I’m so glad I didn’t go to an American University; they all seem to be chock-full of vampires. But anyway, you cheeky young cubs; as all too often happens, more last minute gigs popped up which we had no time to tell you about. We’re working hard to improve the information service, but for now, apologies if you missed us. All this weekend, Sunshine FM. has been playing our records; I’m a housewives favourite, faithful ones!
The Live Wire magazine said some good things about me, but I’ll tell you this anyway...they’re really dedicated to live music and deserve your support, cats. A welcome change from the usual squirming bag of appetites!
Thanks for the welcome at Ringwood; we had a really boss time!
And speaking of boss times...the recent Portcullis gig was a lovely surprise. I don’t play in Bristol much so this was a rare old treat (sincere thanks to the people who asked about my health).
We’re playing UPSTAIRS at the Portcullis with JUICY LUCY on May 6th.
Call me on 0779 207 3086 for your tickets, pals.
Did you enjoy the Johnny Winter show? I was invited onto the White Tornados bus and he said some very complementary things about my playing. As an upshot of the evenings success, we’re back at the Cheese and Grain in May with Peter Green.
If I were prey to mortal passions, I’d be stoking up for a modest blush, True believers!

IT TOOK FIFTEEN YEARS BEFORE SOMEONE POINTED OUT I HAD NO GUITAR PLAYING TALENT,
BUT I COULDN’T STOP BECAUSE BY THEN I WAS TOO WELL KNOWN

Well, howdy true believers!
Had an unexpected telephone call the other night. As you know, we’re getting a fair bit of radio play at the moment, both here and abroad. But I wasn’t prepared for a DJ from Radio Caroline to call me, raving about the record they’d been playing. I was assured that they were enjoying it to the extent that after the show, they took the platter home to play in the car! As a stripling, I listened diligently to Radio Caroline, I dug it the most, cats. Can you imagine the thrill I got? If I ever make another record it might make album of the week!
More nice gigs on the horizon, this time with blues-rock legends JUICY LUCY. As you know, we’ve played together before, and it’s usually a gas. I’ll give you more details as the dates get closer.
Please don’t forget your tickets for the JOHNNY WINTER gig at the Cheese and Grain.
Give me a call on 07792 073 086 and I’ll sort it out.
Once again, great words and a snappy pic of The Handsome One in the Ocelot.
THIS JUST IN: on May 9th I’m doing an interview and an hour-long session on tv. Again, more details nearer the time. Aren’t I the very devil of a fellow faithful ones?

IF I ONLY HAD ONE LEG I’D BE STAGGERING

Hot dog! Loads to tell you, true believer! We’re getting SO MUCH European airplay - and you should see the responses that were getting from the listeners! Honestly, it’s a mind snapper, dad!
The erstwhile faint rumblings of foreign gigs are slowly becoming more and more definite, encouraging me to discard my shabby cloak of uncertainty and lethargy and don my shining rainment of optimism. I’ve even taxed the mighty DAIMLER for twelve months, instead of the traditional six!
As a result of the interest abroad, domestic radio stations and magazines have been yowling for records. In fact, recently I arrived at a new venue to find two or three writers (I forget) keenly waiting for the Handsome One. When I bade them approach the presence, they turned the colour of dog sick, such was their awe.
Please don’t forget all the tickets for the bigger shows!
Check out Kevin’s site www.myspace.com/jamiethyer39sworriedmen for all the relevant sniff-snaff. Actually, Kevin’s rather cross with me at the moment. Last week he kept loudly demanding another ice cream, and when I demurred, he started kicking the seat of the child in front.
Stay tuned for more big-headed swanking, faithful one!

THESE SHOES CAN PICK WINKLES AT 100 PACES

Well, here’s a novelty. March 25th sees us at the Vic in Swindon with Nordic guitar hero KRISSY MATTHEWS who is currently building a name in Europe as one of the brightest new blues rock players.
Y'all know the drill by now; call me on 0779 207 3086 for your ticket, true believer, or as Mott the Hoople would say, "Are you going to be there? I got my invite!".

LIFT UP YOUR SKIRT AND FLY!

True believers! On April 25th we’re playing at Mr Kyps with WISHBONE ASH!
We’ve played with them before and I can tell you that the elegance of the Ash guitars is only rivalled by their generosity as people.
I can honestly say that missing this event would be like missing your birthday.
You can get your discounted tickets from me; call me on 0779 207 3086 faithful one!

AINT THIS WHAT LIVING IS ALL ABOUT?

We’re doing a series of dates with DUMPYS RUSTY NUTS, metal icons and festival favourites.
The biker boogie king takes on the rich woman’s plaything with no holds barred!
Its going to be a real knock-down bare knuckle slice of prime boogaloo, tiny ones!
The first confirmed date is APRIL 22nd at RIFFS BAR, Greatfield, Swindon
Tickets are only £6 in advance and £8 on the door.
Ring me on 07792 073086 to stake your claim to some real rock action thrills

MICK GREEN

It is with profound and sincere sympathy that I have to report the passing of PIRATES guitar colossus MICK GREEN.
As you know we were booked to play with him, but his incipient illness precluded it.
Others elsewhere are making more profound statements, but I will say THIS, and I want you to bear me witness:
He was one of only two people I have ever asked for an autograph;
He was among the very few who genuinely added something to the guitars vocabulary.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I seem to have something in my eye.

IT’S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Hey! Thanks for all the Christmas greetings! I’m told we’re doing the support on the next Johnny Winter tour. Put it this way, we’ve got tickets for you, so if you want to see us perform with the white tornado, give me a ring. Another artiste with whom we’ve been booked to appear is Wilko Johnson, but that’s not for a while yet.
Gingstock was a riot, as was the Shipston gig. Thanks for coming to see us; especially those of you that travelled. There are at least two international acts wanting to perform in this country with us in 2010.Too early yet to be confident of it happening, but I’ll tell you more as soon as I can.
Following the success of our Tyla Gang ticket sales, we’ve been offered carte blanche with regard to supports at Mr Kyps. Have a ‘shufti’ and let me know who you’d like to see us with.
Amongst the many presents which I received this year (ever seen "Citizen Kane"?) was a Top Gear STRETCHY STIG. In the box was a formal warning advising me that if the Stretchy Stig was wrapped around someone’s neck it could cause strangulation!!!!
Now y'all know me; an eccentric guy who learned to do a couple of cool things - but this year I’m really going to try and make something of myself. Follow up a few opportunities. Fancy tagging along?

No lights on the Christmas tree mother....they’re burning Big Louie tonight

Januarys Wunderbar gig represents our 2500th performance...as far as I can calculate anyway. I’d be there if I were you; it’s usually a scintillating ding-dong where one is knee-deep in Midsomer Nortons smart set.
Damn you, papparazzo! Get back behind that velvet rope!
Kevin’s built some websites honoring my achievements. There’s a fansite on Facebook and if you look on Myspace under Jamie Thyer39s Worried Men, there I am as well. Unfortunately, I’m too old and infirm to conduct these myself, so if you need to speak with me, either e-mail me at Jamie@theworriedmen.com or use the telephonic communication apparatus.
I’m busting a gut to ensure that you get your free cds this side of Christmas; the response was overwhelming. Shaking the tree boss!
Ooooh - I’ve had a request from a French radio station to broadcast my records; this could be the start of my long-awaited international career! If loving me is wrong, they don’t want to be right, those poor Jamie-starved Europeans.
I know that for some of you it’s been a rotten year, so thanks for sticking with me. I’ve always boasted that I make special music for special people and I get letters, emails and texts all the time to confirm it. I want you to know that I’m proud of you. If the indications are correct, 2010 will be marvy faithful ones; and as one Christmas turkey said to the other Christmas turkey: "At least I’m not Tiger Woods".

Arooga! Arooga!

Don’t know if you’ve been following my adventures in the media these past few weeks, but so far I’ve been in the Bath Chronicle, Western Daily Press, the Times (I think) and today I should be in the Sun.
I’ve done a live radio interview for BBC radio Wiltshire and practically got my own column in the Swindon Advertiser.
All this to try to help keep live music going at pub level.
Anyway, besides all this braggadocio, I want you to know that New Years Eve sees me at the Sun in Liddington. We’re going to have a real bohemian love-in, I’m going to get some guests from other bands to get up and do their party pieces and it’s bound to be sizzling.
I reckon it’ll be ticket only; best ring me for details-make it sharpish though because these babies will be HOT!
OK! Back to the record.

A Christmas Camel (or Darwin was wrong – He meant survival of the fattest)

Well true believers, you’ll never believe this!
I’ve just got home from a gig in Chepstow. Behind the bar was a watercolour picture of yours truly. Given that I’ve never ever been there before, I think you’ll agree that it’s a tad curious!
I hope you join us for Gingstock on boxing night! It’s usually a snappy counterblast to the post Christmas comedown.
Big shout out to all of you who came to see us in the New Forest. Sorry about the rogue cows!
I’ve got your tickets for the gig with the Tyla Gang at Mr Kyps. You can call me on 07792 073086 to sort it out – only £6 from me which I’m assured is a snip!
Besides the gigs mentioned above you may very well notice me playing with some Distinguishing Artistes – boyhood heroes no less. Keep watching the skies faithful ones!
I hope you have a superfunk Christmas and a Golden New Year!

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORMS

Remember when we played those boss gigs at MR KYPS in Poole with WILKO JOHNSON and NINE BELOW ZERO? Well, we’re appearing there again on DECEMBER 10th, but this time with the TYLA GANG.
Y’all remember Sean Tyla from DUCKS DELUXE? Well, he’s back and he’s kicking it Old School. I haven’t seen this new incarnation but if the “Godfather of boogie” can whip it out like in the days of yore, then it should be hot enough to fry your boots!
As always you can email me or ring me on 0779 207 3086 for your tickets: in fact I’d rather you did because it’s the only way I get paid and it’s cheaper for you (also Mr Kyps gets impressed by the level of your support which leads to more gigs for me and more larfs for you)!
I hope you have an unusual day!
Smell you later true believer!

Reconnais Cherie!

We had some more short notice gigs last month. Sorry, but there was no time to tell some of you about various dates at the Two Pigs, not to mention a whole weekend at Riders Harley-Davidson dealership.
Faithful ones with perceptive optics may have noticed some new (and frankly some old) faces in the ranks of late. Once again the Worried Men are on the march towards the sun dappled uplands of success! More news as it happens!
A glowing review in “Blues in Britain”! Ding Dong!
We’ve got some new t-shirts and vests – I’ll update the website soon, but I’m not perfectly happy with the photos just yet.
The free CD of new tracks is underway, intended to gladden the heart of every true believer on the mailing list!
For the first time in something like ten years we’re playing at the Royal Oak, Cromhall. I’d really like to make a good impression, any support you can lend us will be more than appreciated!
I’m seriously thinking of going to Brighton to get a job working with whales. By now I’m well used to being around blubbery mammals near to extinction.
Keep it between the hedges cats and kittens!

And when they met it was moider!

Made it back from Colne. What a weekend!
Thanks to CD and T-shirt sales, got to stay in an elegant hotel and came home with gold in both my fists shouting “Yippee Yippee”. So big shout out to full figure Julie, Les, the Sizzle Sisters and all the usual true believers. See y’all next year!
Having once again stepped into the breach, Ben resumes his regular life of highly rewarding tours, theatres, tv and radio, together with the odd chart bound sound. I’ve shared some of my greatest adventures of the past thirty odd years with Ben, but this recent month I think we’ve laughed more than we usually do.
Front and centre for Kevin Rowe. After fourteen years in the wilderness, the only bass playing Jack Russell in the world returns. Old timers will remember Kevin from the “Wünderbar” album and it seems that he’s also been laying waste to Amy Winehouse and Joss Stone’s bands. He thinks he’s jumped on the gravy train: the poor deluded mite doesn’t realise it’s actually the caravan of forgotten dreams. I proffer not argument nor resistance.
As a gesture of genuine thanks, all faithful ones whose names adorn the mailing list will receive a free CD of new material – not available anywhere else!
Now see if you can guess the time without looking at your watch!

So it’s come to this

By the time you read this, I’ll have returned from Colne, which is usually a most lively source of material. Look forward to thrilling accounts of this most agreeable and glamorous pursuit (insofar as it be within my poor ability) next month, when I’m not subject to cranial firestorms or shattered like a glass goblin.
True believers, thanks for travelling to see us at Weymouth and Honiton recently! According to the promoter, he’s had lots of positive comments about our set with Dr. Feelgood too!
Next week (or last week when you receive this) we’re with Maggie Bell and Kenney Jones (of Who and Small Faces fame) at Gosport, so bring me my Ferrari of burning gold!
Also ... due to genuinely unforeseen developments (well, unforeseen by me, but I don’t see Christmas coming) I might just have another record out before the end of the year!
I know civilisation won’t have advanced an inch but I might be able to put some petrol in the car.
Now, reshake this cocktail and don’t drown the gin!

P.S. Have you seen me on the front cover of SCRUMPY AND WESTERN? I make a fair poster child for such an ugly wretch, don’t I?
P.P.S. Good to see so many faithful ones at Bridgewater and Taunton. Let’s not leave it so long again!

Grow your hair long, baby, can’t go wrong

Well, hello there, true believer! I’ve been very busy since we last spoke; hope you enjoy the additions to the website? Besides writing frightening verse to a buck toothed girl in Luxembourg, I’ve been doing a fair bit of recording, some of which ended up sounding like other people, but I’ve tried to pass it off as pastiche (you know, pastiche, what Sean Connery eats in Cornwall).
Again, boss words in the Ocelot magazine, so big hurray to Agony Boy!
The website photo of the Andover gig doesn’t begin to convey the story of the riotous cavorting that ensued, but it does go some way to share the flavour of the event.
On my recent hot air balloon ride, the basket got dragged along the ground quite fiercely (Bang “ow” Bang “ow”) so if I’m more vacant than usual when next we meet, that might be why!
As you can see we’re going back to the Colne Blues Festival, where the local maidens are fair of tale and comely of form (although despite boasting countenances of rare charm they do tend to utter wolfish cries after a stiff tot). As promised we’ll be running our regular competition “Name Julie’s buttocks and win a pony” again.
Right, back to my hog snoring. See you later faithful one!

P.S. Do you realise my car has done the equivalent mileage of traversing the globe seven times?

We’re not bad people, we’re not dirty, we’re not mean. We love everybody but we do as we please

May was certainly another trend setting pinnacle for these slime encrusted road warriors!
First of all, thanks to Fran for alerting me when my waistcoat caught alight in Newton Abbott.
Also, big shout out to Abe and all the true believers who travelled to see us at Upton.
How do I describe the Wilko Johnson gig at Mr Kyps without sounding like I’m swanking? Loads of you there, a knockout reception . . . . .Probably the first time I’ve ever been cheered for drinking a cup of tea! (I did drink it really classy though)!

Reality is so unspeakably sordid, it makes me shudder. However, we’re doing a few festivals and suchlike in July – Why don’t you clock out of the old yawn factory and meet us there, faithful one?
T’il then, keep sexing those toads, y’hear?

Fabulous facts and frivolous fables for frantic fans faithful friends and fiendish foes

Here’s how well things are going. As soon as we publish the gig list, more dates come in!
For instance now I find out on June 14th we’re at The Duke of Edinburgh, Brixton. No staring into space sucking pencils around HERE, true believer! By the way, here’s how you get your tickets for the Mr Kyps gig, May 30th. When you pull up, ring me on the mobile 07792 073086 and I’ll come out and give you your tickets!

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved ... The ones who never yawn or say a common place thing”

What did you think of my happening at the Two Pigs? Eloquent? Provocative? Toe-curling? (Hmmmm....)
Put me in mind of the old sketch “History Today” where the two elderly professors start to discuss lofty themes only to quickly descend into infantile antics.
We’ve got some gigs later in the year with Kenney Jones of The Who and Maggie Bell from Stone the Crows. Give us a ring if you fancy making the scene 01291 629888.
Thank you very much indeed for the marvy reception when we played with Wishbone Ash. I’ve just read a couple of really nice reviews of us on the Wishbone Ash website! Thanks cats!
More new places this month; dig you later!

P.S. Although we’ve been playing at the Old Ale House in Salisbury for over ten years, nothing prepared me for the amount of people that came to see us or the great reception!

No matter how the caliphs may cut about the bread we’ll give you better music because we care about your head

Howdy, members of the Loving Public!
Once again due to your diligence and generosity, another gig has sprouted up for the world’s longest lasting chimp’s tea-party.
On May 17th we’re off to the Riverside Club, 66 High Street, Tewkesbury.
It’s an 8.45pm start so get thee to bed true believer!
It’ll be May 17th before you know it!

The Rock Island Line is a Mighty Good Road ....

Must be due for another thrill packed ramble with the world’s oldest toddler group. As time elapses the similarity between The Worried Men and Top Gear becomes ever more striking. Both feature a trio of middle aged fashion criminals attempting impossible challenges which only end in fire or drowning.
Most sincere thanks to all of you who have been recommending us to promoters, publicans, etc. As you can see we’re visiting heaps of new places we wouldn’t even know of without your help.
If there’s somewhere you’d like to see us play either let us know or tell the grown up in charge of the venue.
It’s fabby when we get to a gig and see you and it’s particularly nice when you come up and speak with us.
Oooh – just remembered! We’re doing a gig with Dr Feelgood soon and another radio broadcast. Tell you more about it later ...

Just another day in paradise

Just got back from a smashing gig at the Windsor Hotel in Barry, where, during a frank discussion about quality bands it was pointed out that we’re playing at Fagin’s in Taffs Well on April 30th (good job someone knows what’s going on).

Just before that, on 28th April Something Else is happening.
I don’t know quite how to describe the event, but Dickie Doyle, mine host of The Two Pigs at Corsham, has engaged me to give a demonstration on how I play the guitar without effects. (I’ll give it all of two minutes before I start showing off and acting stupid). Anyway, you’re all invited to come and gawp at The Star, who may or may not be dressed like the guest of honour at a chimps’ tea party. Should make for an excellent night!

All Hide! Here comes the dog-like groove!

First, the jolly stuff! We’ve still got a few tickets left for the gig we’re doing at the Cheese & Grain with Wishbone Ash. You can get yours by ringing 01291 629888. Secondly, after this month, there’s a prize for the first person to correctly guess the source of the Hello! headline. Could be a record title, a quote from a book, anything, but I’ll try not to make them too obscure, unlike the one above which is from a Nick Lowe album sleeve – originally in Japanese!
Now, a serious question: How does Uri Geller get into his house? Surely all his door keys must bend in his hand?
Sorry if you were frightened by my amplifier catching fire at the Cat and Wheel. Sorry also if you came to see us the following night and it DIDN’T catch fire. As I write this I’ve just had to decline supporting Johnny Winter as we’re supporting Wilko Johnson the same night. Couldn’t make it up could you?
Thanks for continuing to support The Worried Men – beware of worthless and fraudulent imitations!

How to run a Bently on ten bob a day

Hokee – Dokee. I’m with you. You’ve heard all about our gig on April 25th at The Cheese & Grain with Wishbone Ash and you’re worried you won’t be able to get tickets. Fret no more, faithful one! Just ring 01291 629888 and you shall once more know contentment.
Also, the tickets for our gig at Mr Kyps in Poole with Wilko Johnson are ready for you.
As always, it’s cheaper for you and better for us if y’all get the tickets directly from ourselves: it’s the only way that we get paid and with your help we get to impress the venues with the strength of your support, hence more gigs!
C’mon – get involved! This is something we can all enjoy! (Unlike that big pile of Van Morrison souvenir cycling shorts still collecting dust in the corner)!

Once More Into The Nova Heat Zone

First of all, prayers are invited for Mick Green, iconic guitarist with The Pirates, whose serious ill health has caused our gig with them to be rescheduled.
We’re doing quite a few festivals – ironically with some of our other personal heroes – later this year. Some of these are still subject to contractual confirmation, so in order to avoid egg-on-face occurrence, I’ll blab the details nearer the time.
In between toiling away in a (very) glamorous studio working on a new album, I’ve constantly been attempting to upgrade the website – Let’s have those photos you heathen dogs!
Yours ‘til the load out ...

P.S. The programme for the Worcester festival describes me as “the most famous blues-rock guitarist in the country, whose band The Worried Men is famous throughout Europe for hard-bitten R&B”. That should put a few noses out of joint!

Now dig this! Now dig this!

Wahoo true believers!
On March 14th we’re appearing with the Pirates at the Thunderbolt in Bristol.
On May 30th Wilko Johnson has us on his bill at Mr Kyps in Poole and if that wasn’t enough your favourite nuclear beat combo are supporting Wishbone Ash at the Cheese & Grain in Frome.
There are more and bigger booked for later in the year but for now call 01291 629888 and get your mitts on some tickets!
Even Bryan Chapman’s leaving his cave for these treats!

Boom Shak-A-Lak Rude Boy!

Due to the short notice we couldn’t tell you about the recent gig at Riffs – one of the best receptions we’ve had there!
Likewise the wild raving scenes at The Pig Inn at Gloucester; thanks a whole big bunch!
February is a bit quiet as we’re putting together a new show and I’m doing a few interviews and promotional things for the higher profile gigs later in the year. While I’m at it I intend to revamp the website, so please let me have your photos for inclusion.

Here’s a bedtime story from venerable Yoda:
"The tooth fairy once went to get one of Dracula’s fangs but the castle was really dark and she cut herself on the fang by mistake and ever since then she’s been a blood-sucking vampire tooth fairy. Anyway, Goodnight"

Dancing Space Potatoes? You bet!

Fancy calling it dyslexia, a word nobody can spell.
I mean, if you were a dyslexic pervert, you might go into S&M and buy a nice cardigan! Or if you were a dyslexic pimp, open your own warehouse! Or a dyslexic rock star you might choke on your own vimto!

On Your Knees, Earthlings!

Picking up isn’t it? From January onwards we should be back to normal ….. gig wise anyway. In fact, we’re doing so well that my grocer sells me rotten spuds. He thinks I can afford it!
We’re doing a lot of gigs in Wales at the moment, thanks to the Welsh Mafia; they made me an offer I couldn’t understand. Mind you, at least they don’t point at aeroplanes like some places we play.
(If it wasn’t for Emmerdale I wouldn’t get any fresh air at all)

Harrowing Tales From the Hot and Happening

Nice write up in the Ocelot – thanks a whole heap!
You needn’t ask whose van ended up in the carnival procession at Pewsey?
Check this out – my autograph is being auctioned on E-Bay!!
We’ve just received offers of some big gigs – can’t say too much at the present because of contractual difficulties, but it’ll be worth waiting for!
See you at the load in!

Strictly speaking, the tomato is not a vegetable, it is really a kind of dolphin

Although we haven’t done that many gigs recently, those we have played have been fabulous! Thanks for coming out in such large numbers, particularly at Poole, which was a real career highlight for me.
Currently working on some new ideas, stand by for a few shocks!
Anyway, they say no two snowflakes are the same, but who’s ever checked?
I’ll give you a prize if you find me a matching pair.

All Wind Is Made By Wind Farms

Thanks for coming to see us and lending us your goodwill in May and June; we’ll be recording very soon so there might well be a new record available this year!
Anyway ....

If you ring the number of a house where you used to live, you can talk to a past version of yourself. Never tell the past version who is calling. Anyone who rings you and says “Sorry, wrong number” is almost certainly you calling from the future.
Oh, and if you spin around really fast and then stop, your face will skid around to the back of your head.

HELLO! HELLO! I'M BACK AGAIN!

Many, many heartfelt thanks for all the fabulous messages of support and encouragement. I never could have imagined the wealth of good feeling that existed for one scruffy googly eyed guitar playing pimple.
By the time you read this, I'll be back on the road, albeit slowly at first, but the way things are building, before too long I'll be back annoying you on a regular basis. Got some new tunes for y'all and I've tried to keep some favourites too!

I'll tell you something about having time off shall I?
Each evening, at 9 o'clock, you feel the adrenalin begin to surge, You pace up and down, flexing your fingers. You have to fight back an almost uncontrollable urge to put your stage clothes on. You shout at your loved ones as though they were road crew.
Or so I've been told....

Out Of Traction, Back In Action

The more things change, the more they remain the same. We recently had to change drummers, which means that we’re even more Fabulous than previously! Lashings of Exciting items on the horizon, starting with...
February 22nd, we’re supporting Nine Below Zero at Mr Kyps in Poole (they’re a smashing Band and it’s a great place). I don’t know how much the box office are charging for tickets, but I want you to buy them from us because:

• It’ll be cheaper for you;
• It’s the only way we get paid;
• The Venue become impressed with the strength of your support and gives us more great Shows - something we can all enjoy!

You can contact us by Email or the usual Telephone number. By the way, we’ve got a Whole heap of good things coming up soon, I’ll tell you more nearer the time!
Thanks for sticking with us - I promise to repay your loyalty with bigger and better Thrills!

Life After Debt

Another gig list. Which means another lot of gigs.
New Years Eve sees us at the Pig Inn the City in Gloucester; I think it'll be ticket only and their telephone number is 01452 421960.
I'll tell you something - recently we've played at a number of new places and new towns; and you've been there to welcome us! Thanks for your support!
Let me make a cup of tea and I'll get started on the Bolan Album.

August 2007 - The Large Print Giveth And The Small Print Taketh Away

Howdy, members of the loving public.
We’re soon going to hold competitions at our events; something along the lines of most-friends-brought-to-a-gig or most-miles-travelled, or some such. I’ll try to ensure that the prizes are worth having, too. As I write this, large sections of the country are being devastated by storms and floods; inevitably, some of our gigs may have to be postponed. I want you to know this disappoints us at least as much as it does y’all.
I’m currently obliged to spend a lot of time at the dentist, so if, when you see me, I only grunt and flap my hands at you, its nothing personnel. Next months gig list should have some good jokes and puzzles, so see you then.

July 2007 - Girl Trapped In Refrigerator, Eats Own Foot

I’m told that everybody of a certain age remembers where they were when they heard President Kennedy had been shot. (I was eagerly awaiting the very first episode of Dr. Who) But what really happened on that fateful November day in 1963? Everybody knows that Lee Harvey Oswald shot the President from an open window as the motorcade drove past. But evidence collected through the years has thrown doubt over that judgment. Oswald, who was arrested a few hours after the killing, maintained his innocence throughout the last two days of his life. Within a few hours of being charged, Oswald was gunned down by nightclub owner Jack Ruby. Ruby himself was killed two weeks afterwards by an unemployed blacksmith called Jim Sweeney, who was in turn murdered the following day by a part-time female impressionist called Mary Kinnie. Three days later, Kinnie was killed by a drunk driver identified by the Police as Brutus O'Hooligan. O'Hooligan was released on bail, only to be crushed to death by a falling ostrich deliberately dropped from a 14th story window by a drunken construction worker named Joe Lawrence. Lawrence then tripped over a rope and fell to his death. He landed on the ostrich which still had a biscuit stuck in its throat from a previous meal. The biscuit shot out of the ostrich’s mouth and struck a passer-by in the heart, instantly killing him. The passer-by, a Mr. Cranston Mullarky, fell into the path of a luxury coach, operated by Simpson Tours, which ploughed into an orphanage, killing everybody on board. This series of deaths further convinced sceptics that some kind of cover-up was going on.

June 2007 - Bo Laid Low, Ergo No Show

It was night in the city, and in the concrete heart of the New York jungle it was pouring hard.
This was no time for Singing In The Rain, mused short stout Hiram J. Schickenheimer, and instinctively his eyes looked toward the pavement as, head down, he battered against the icy drizzle and aimed himself toward East Street And 43rd.
Suddenly, at the news stand tucked away by Rubies Burger Joint, a headline caught his eye. He moved forward and read...

May 2007 - Is This The End For Laughing Spam Fritter?

Earlier today, I woke up in my modest room, rubbed my eyes and suddenly the world was a better place. I heard the little birdies, natures winged messengers, twittering their joyous tidings in the trees, the merry little cries of the children on their way to school, the jolly calls of the tradesmen as they ply their wares along the streets and even the flowers waved and bent their heads towards me in silent greeting.
And then suddenly, Old Mr. Sun poked his merry round face above the chimney pots as if to say "Morning Jamie" and I was suddenly aware of enchanting golden beams dancing on my counterpane, when Patrick’s gentle voice whispered "how many lumps do you want in yer porridge?"
It was only then that I realized we’re playing at the Cheese and Grain on June 16th with Bo Diddly. Tickets available from Mr. P. D. Hugget, the thinking man's Harvey Goldsmith.

April 2007 - Ex-Beatle To Record With Dead Chimp?

Everybody has their favorite Rock+Roll casualty stories; when you’re as old as I am, even the really absurd ones have become cast in stone; the Rolls Royce in the swimming pool, the mud shark, Syd Barrett and the Mandrax etc. Tales worn smooth with use, seeping into our collective bones like so much rain. However, there is one truly great rock casualty who remains unmourned. Spare me your Johnny Ace stories! Bore me not with tales of Sid Vicious nor The Big Bopper! I refer, of course, to the astounding rise and equally spectacular fall of Bugsy the Chimp.
It Seems that John Lennon and Yoko Ono were booked to perform a session of "Free Jazz" on John Peel’s Top Gear Radio Show. Getting Free-Form music isn’t actually very easy; a Free-Style-Jazz pianist tends to develop his own method, and even if you just plonk up and down the keyboard yourself you’ve got some idea of the general sound and rhythms that will emerge. Eventually, Peel’s producer John Walters came up with the idea of hiring a Chimpanzee to play the Piano. According to experts, Chimpanzees are happier playing duets (I am not making this up), so subsequently Bugsy + Rosie were driven down from Coventry to the BBC’s London studios. I’m assured that when the tape rolled, they were real pro’s, sitting side by side and, well, playing. Unlike the Lennons who rushed off to the States and have yet to return. Bugsy + Rosie made off, escaping into a schoolyard where they were shot by Police.
Jimi, Janis, Bugsy….. in exorably the rock machine extracts its toll on those whom it blesses with a fleeting glimmer of fame.

March 2007 - Gloria Knew One Thing:

If Hubert never saw another day, he’d live to regret the way he’d behaved so appallingly at Tiffany’s last night. Didn’t he know the sheer soul-destroying horror of that moment when he’d turned to her - so smug, so patently without pity – and revealed that this was it?
The Dream was over.
From now on, he had said, he wasn’t taking her to see The Worried Men any more. "At least", thought Gloria, as she took pen to paper, "I will make him know the void this leaves in my heart".

February 2007 - Who Put The Bomp? What Are We Here For? Whose Round Is It?

It was a dark December night. The streets of Bath were white and deserted as I wandered back from the station after one of my frequent forays to the metropolis in search of excitement and salacious gossip from the wonderful world of show business.
Suddenly, a bony hand shot out from a shadowy doorway, seizing me by the left shoulder and dragging me into the murky recesses of the Rats Nostril, a local watering hole of ill repute. As I struggled to retain my balance and my liberty, I caught a brief glimpse of my assailant and a sickening feeling of horror accompanied the recognition of the deformed person of Johnny Winter.
Now, Johnny’s looking forward to seeing y’all at our gig in April, but he’s concerned that all the tickets are being snapped up by strangers. I told Johnny that I, too, would be upset if our people overlooked this opportunity and that seemed to placate him, until muttering darkly about Pink Fairies reunion gigs, he melted into the Dickensian haze in the manner of Marley’s ghost.

January 2007 - Advice From Uncle Handsome

Once again, the party season is upon us. Cats, the choice is yours: you can stand in line all day and plop down a weeks money to sit in the back row of a Hockey Rink, squinting down at a stage that looks no bigger than a postage stamp to see a bunch of wimps try to be prettier than the girls in their video, or stroll down to the local tavern, sit up front, wrap your paws around a frosty beezo and dig the heavy-duty hootnanny!

December 2006 - Did Duane Eddy Wear Rebel Trousers?

I was listening to the radio the other day when the newsreader related a story concerning a man who had inserted a rocket into his own rectum and lit it. You could hear the technical staff whooping with gales of incredulous but delighted glee. Even the newsreader eventually eschewed the remaining threads of dignity and succumbed to giggly hysterics. It quite distracted me from getting the Christmas decorations down from the loft. (I almost forgot to shout under the toilet door to see if Patrick was alright.)

- Now Dig This!

Next April we’re playing with living legend Johnny Winter. This promises to be one of those seminal gigs that only happen to other people, those whom you particularly dislike. Tickets are available from us, naturally: If this one doesn’t sell out, I’ll kiss Bryan Chapman’s arse in the market place and advertise a month in advance to raise a crowd. Please, please don’t miss out on your chance.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and God bless you all for your love and support: A big kiss to you all (except the males).